Not a Dream
by WideEyedMonkey
Summary: Bella Swan wakes up after a terrible accident only to find that not everything-and everyone-is the same. Is it all a dream, or has Bella REALLY never met the Cullens? POST-ECLIPSE. Very Romantic. Will have a definite ending. :D
1. Going Under

Hello! So I'm writing this fanfic about Twilight that takes place after the last book, Eclipse.

It's all about how Bella "wakes up" from an accident to find not everything as she remembers it.

xD

So, here's chapter 1. Enjoy!

--

"Purple or Gold?...Bella?"

"Wha-?" I responded groggily to Edward's question. We had been working out our wedding details ALL NIGHT and it was now almost 2 o clock A.M.

I successfully managed to lift my head off of the Cullen's glass coffee table where we had been working and I had been sleeping on and off. "What was the question, again?" I muttered into the palm of my hand.

Edward smiled his ridiculously gorgeous crooked smile that I melt for. "The napkins. For the reception. Would you prefer them purple or gold?"

"Um…" I forced back a yawn and tried to concentrate. "Purple, 'cus then when you wipe food on them, the stains don't show as easily as…as…and…uh" a gigantic yawn cut me off. It's not like my sentence was making any sense anyway.

Edward laughed a soft sigh as he grasped my hands. "Just a few more weeks. Then you won't have to worry about sleep."

A small shiver shot down my spine. In a few weeks we'd be married, as if that wasn't stress-making enough. Of course it also meant Edward's changing me into a vampire. A permanent member of the living dead. As much as I wanted this-to spend eternity with the most perfect being on earth-I still found myself beginning to take notice of all the things I would be giving up.

Like Jacob.

I had only just found out that he had gone missing, and this new stock of information had been screwing with my brain. He was my best friend. He was more than just my best friend, as I had found out. And I was itching to get out there and search for him. I needed him back more than he knew.

Edward began to draw small circles with his thumb on the back of my hand. I looked up at him to find his eyes were already locked on mine.

"Stressed?" He asked, though it almost sounded like a statement.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind?" I quietly joked with him.

"Mmm" He mused, shaking his head. "Just my incredible intuitive sense about you."

"Oh really?" I asked, making a serious face. "What are your incredibly intuitive senses picking up now?" I asked him, my eyes shut and my forehead scrunched up in mock concentration.

"I believe you wish for the stress to be gone." He stated, a clear smile evident in his tone of voice. "I can't take it all away, but for now..." his voice lowered to a bare whisper, "I'll try my best."

In an instant his lips were melting onto mine, my breath caught short in my throat. I wound my arms around his cold neck and ran my fingers through his hair.

Just as our kiss began to deepen, I heard a faint howling in the woods outback. My lips froze, along with my entire body.

"Bella?" I heard Edward's voice, but it seemed far away.

"Bellllla…." His voice began to become less audible, and my vision became strained.

What was happening to me?

I felt faint, weak, limp.

The wolf howled again.

And then it all went black.

--

Post your comments, suggestions, likes and dislikes (hopefully not too many )

And I will post more soon!


	2. Waking Up

Here's chapter two. )

I should have put a disclaimer on my first post, but better late than never.

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT own Twilight or any of its characters.

--

"Bella? Bella, wake up."

I was still groggy as I tried to lift my eyelids. My vision swarmed as I looked up into the face of an angel.

"Is this heaven?" I asked, probably sounding like moron.

I heard light laughter in the room, and my eyes locked more closely on the angel.

"Carlisle?" I asked, hoisting myself off the hospital bed and looking at the familiar doctor.

He stared at me with a confused expression.

Before he could say anything Charlie came running into the room.

"Bella!" He cried as he threw his arms around me. I hugged him back with equal enthusiasm.

"Thanks Charlie…" I started, but I was cut off by his sudden tears.

"Oh Bella, Bella…" He exclaimed. "I'm so glad you're okay. Oh Bella."

What was going on here? Carlisle's confusing look, Charlie's tears and gratitude? How bad a fainting spell had I had? And where was Edward?

Too many questions. My head was beginning to hurt.

"Um…alright." I said. "What's going on here?" I asked suspiciously.

"She probably doesn't remember much." Carlisle seemed to be reassuring my dad. "It's been a while."

"Dad…?" I asked.

He gave a soft, dad sort of laugh. "Sorry you can't remember much, Bella."

I was beyond confused. I remembered everything. Hadn't I only just fainted with Edward while we were planning our wedding?

"Alright. What are you talking about?" I addressed Carlisle and Charlie in the small hospital room.

"Bella, first of all, may I introduce myself as Dr. Cullen…" He started, but I cut him off.

"Yeah, I know." I stated simply, wondering why he was playing this stupid game like I was a kid. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"Bella, this may be hard for you to hear, but you've had quite a spell. A few days ago when you were leaving Charlie's house, you took a bad fall down your main staircase. About 13 steps. You've been in a coma for a few days." He finished.

I was beyond confused at this point. This joke had gone way too far.

"You're telling me that I have been in a coma for the past two days due to _falling down my home steps_?" I asked him incrediously.

He shook his head yes.

Haha! This was funny!

"Are you kidding me? That's impossible!" I sounded hysterical.

Carlisle whispered something to Charlie and he shook his head in confusion.

"Wait! Tell me! Tell me Carlisle, I want to know everything." I exclaimed. My head was starting to throb from confusion.

"Well, you see Bella, it's just very odd." He said. "I find it very strange you know my name."

"Wh-why?" I let out a breathy hysterical sound. Of course I knew his name, what was he talking about?

He raised one eyebrow and stared at me.

"Because you see, Bella," He paused and drew out a long breath.

"We've never met before."

--


	3. Getting Some Answers

Chapter 3!

YAY!

**DISCLAIMER: **I _still_ don't own Twilight or its characters. xD

--

Next thing I knew, I was at Charlie's house.

I woke up to find myself on my bed. In my room.

My room that looked suspiciously clean, not to mention the dozens of bouquets of flowers overflowing on my computer desk.

Sheesh. How bad a fall could I have taken?

Charlie knocked on the door. "Hey, kiddo. How are you doing?"

I looked around my room. "Why's my room so clean?" I asked.

He laughed and said "The doctor's right. You are going to be a little spacey for a while!"

I stared at him. "You mean Doctor Cullen? He should know how accident prone I am by now!"

He looked at me funny then sat down on my bed. "You sure you're gunna be alright there, Bella?" He asked as he lifted his hand to my forehead as if to take my temperature. "You're one of the most poised people on this planet. The accident on the steps was just a freak accident. A loose floorboard was all."

"Yeah, Charlie, I'm fine." I said as I swatted his hand away. "What are you talking about? I'm not accident prone…?"

He shook his head a serious no.

"Alright. I've had enough." I told him as I attempted to hoist myself out of bed.

The attempt was unsuccessful. My legs buckled and I tumbled back down onto my mattress.

"Slow down there, Bella." Charlie cautioned, easing me back onto the bed.

"Dad, I honestly have no idea what's going on? Please, enlighten me." I asked him pathetically. I figured the best way to get some answers was to play dumb.

It worked.

"Well, Bella. You've been out of school for a week or so now. You just graduated." He explained.

I nodded my head, recalling all of that.

"What was I doing when I fell down the stairs?" I asked, wide-eyed and innocent.

"Well, you said you were on your way out to a bon-fire down by the beach. With your school friends." He explained. "Somehow, your copy of _Wuthering Heights_ managed to end up on the stairs, and you slipped and came crashing down."

I just nodded. "Was Edward coming to pick me up, then? To go to the bonfire, I mean." Edward had to be around here somewhere. I hadn't seen him since the night we were planning our wedding.

Charlie had a questioning look on his face. "Edward? Dr. Carlisle's son?"

"Yeah, dad. Just because you don't like him doesn't mean you don't have to pretend he doesn't exsist." I rolled my eyes.

"Bella," Charlie began, "Why would _Edward Cullen_ be coming to pick you up?"

My head started to spin. I felt nauseous. "Jacob, then. Jacob Black was coming to pick me up, right?"

He just stared at me. "Bella, Jacob Black's been missing for days. He left only a few days before you had your accident."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I jumped out of bed and began pacing the room. "Edward…Jacob…Edward…holy cow…" I sputtered like a moron.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Charlie asked, clearly stunned by my sudden adrenaline.

"Charlie, just tell me this much," I leveled with him, my hands planted firmly on my hips. "If Edward wasn't coming for me, and neither was Jacob, then who was?"

He stared at me like the answer was obvious.

"Mike Newton, of course."

That was the last straw. I grabbed my car keys and my light brown jacket off a chair.

"I'm going to the Cullen house."

--


	4. Confrontation

Hey! Here's chapter four! Just wanted to thank all who have been reading this so far.

I'm glad ya'll like it. )

**DISCLAIMER: **Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all of its fictional wonders. Not me.

--

As I revved my truck engine or lack thereof, my mind was racing faster than mileage.

I was more confused than I ever had been in my life.

It was like nobody remembered me. At all.

At least not the me I was after I had met Edward.

And since when had I, Isabella Swan, ever been graceful?

So many questions, and so little time. Before I knew it, my truck was already winding its way up the steep gravel driveway that led to the Cullen house.

My mind was in sharp focus as I trudged up the steep way and onto the porch.

I knocked only twice before the door opened.

"Isabella Swan?" Carlisle answered the door.

"Um. Yeah." I responded weakly.

"How are you feeling? Are you running a temperature?" He asked cautiously, the door still half-way open between us in an awkward state.

"Um. No I'm fine." I told him. "I was just wondering if Edward was home?"

He cocked his head to the side, like a confused puppy.

"Well, yes. I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Carlisle's voice was split between curiosity and confusion. "Edwaaaard" he called back into the house.

I heard footsteps come bounding down the main staircase I was so familiar with, and then he pushed open the door.

"What is it, Carli-" he stopped short. He stared down at me for a quick second with a face full of confusion, before he quickly pulled it back into a mask of calm.

"Hello, Bella Swan." He addressed me politely.

Too politely.

"I'll leave you kids alone." Carlisle looked at Edward before he left, probably sending him his thoughts.

Edward stepped outside onto the porch with me and closed the door.

We just stood there.

"WELL?" I was on the verge of shouting. I looked up into his eyes to find no recognition at all. None. It scared me.

"What's wrong Bella?" He asked in a soothing voice, totally void of any type of emotion. Almost like he didn't care. He led us down a trail that wound around the side of their mansion.

"Edward, what's going on here? No one seems to know _me_, the real me." I was on the verge of tears and my voice was shaking.

"What do you mean, nobody knows you?" He asked me. "I've known you for the past two years." He assured me.

I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, until he continued.

"You were my lab partner in science class, back at the high school."

My jaw must have hit the ground.

"Edward-wha-science-" I sputtered. "Not you, too!" I groaned.

He politely laughed, as if all this were funny. "Bella, are you all right? I heard about your fall-"

I cut him short. "Yeah! We were only busy planning our wedding!" I practically screamed.

He twisted his face into a confused look. "What?"

"Oh, _come on_, Edward! We're getting married this summer…? You honestly can't remember…" I started to say, but then stopped myself.

My whole body seemed to freeze, my legs rooted to the spot.

Edward didn't remember me. Carlisle had never seen me before. I was poised. Mike Newton was taking me places. Suddenly it all fell into place.

Nobody was joking. Nobody knew who _I_ really was. It was like I had fallen down the stairs, but ended up in some parallel universe. I, Bella Swan, have apparently been living a perfectly NORMAL life. Edward and I had never fallen in love. I never got hurt.

I stared at Edward, knowing that I should be crying, but not finding the tears in my eyes.

"You don't remember?" I asked him, my voice small.

He shook his head, his beautiful bronze hair blowing in the wind.

"So, we've been lab partners for the past two years. And that's _it?_ We're not getting married?" I couldn't force myself to say "not in love" because the idea hurt too much.

Thankfully,_ I_ didn't have too.

"No, Bella. I'm quite sorry, but we're not even in love." He stared at me with mild curiosity, probably wondering why Bella Swan was going insane.

My heart started to split in half, an aching pain making its way up my chest.

I was going to have to resort to drastic measures.

"Smell me." I commanded him.

"Wha-?" he started to ask, before I threw my arm up underneath his nose.

"Well?" I asked him, hoping my scent would trigger a memory in him.

He just stared at me like I was crazy.

Well, maybe I was.

"Edward…" I started, slow and forceful, "I know _everything_ about you. You're a vampire. Only you don't eat humans. At least when I knew you, you didn't. Who knows anything anymore." I paused to judge his reaction, which to my naked eyes, looked a tad bit strained. But I couldn't be sure.

"Anyway, you eat animals. You prefer mountain lions," the words started flowing rapidly out of my mouth now. "You moved to Forks two years ago from Alaska. From the Denali clan. Carlisle's been around for like, 500 years. You were born about a hundred years ago, in Chicago. You died of the Spanish Flu. You can read minds! You can read everyone's mind BUT mine! Think about it: you know that RIGHT NOW you can't see into my head, and you're wondering why! You can run faster than a car! You SPARKLE in the sun, for God's sake, Edward!" My voice cracked towards the end, as I looked up into his eyes, pleading for remembrance, begging for him to recognize me, to hug me, and never let go.

Instead all I got was the cold shoulder.

"Isabella, I think it's time for you to go home. You're delusional," He told me in a hard, cold voice. Because he knew. He knew everything I said was correct, and he still couldn't figure why I knew. Because I had never _truly_ existed for him. Sure, I had always been there, in between classes, passing by in the hall. But WE had never existed.

"Edward, believe me" I whispered, the tears now filling my eyes. I reached up to grab his shoulder, but he shrugged away.

"Go home, Bella." He ordered, and the tears started flowing faster. It was as bad as the time he had left me last fall. Only worse.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I truly don't know what's wrong with you." He stared at my helpless figure, which was hunched over, hands on knees. He started to walk back towards the house.

"No, Edward wait!" I sobbed, unable to regain my composure. "Edward, I love you!" I professed, my hand pathetically stretched forward like it could somehow snatch him back, and with it my old life.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm really sorry." He said, like "sorry" was the only word he knew.

And then he left me there, hunched over on the trail's path, heaving and sobbing like a child. Like I had never been there at all. Like I never would be.


	5. Desperate Measures

Once again, thank you for all who have taken the time to read this.

Here's chapter 5!

**DISCLAIMER:** I _wish_ I was Stephenie Meyer. Then I could officially call Edward Cullen mine. Twilight still belongs to her.

--

Somehow, some way, I had managed to drag myself up off the dirt ground. I wasn't sure of the time. I could have been lying there for hours, days, years. I stumbled my way back into my truck, and just sat in the driver's seat. I stared at the Cullen house, wondering what they were probably all talking about, gossiping about.

This had to be a dream. There was no way this nightmare could possibly be true.

I was going to wake up, and everything was going to be fine.

Suddenly, I realized that I was already pulling out of the Cullen's driveway.

I was making my way home, when I recalled something I saw on some stupid doctor show once. There had been this one episode where the patient had gotten hit in the head with a baseball bat, and had forgotten everything but getting hit in the head with the bat. He tried to purposely whack himself in the head again, and everything went back to normal.

I wondered whether that could actually work.

I decided it was worth a shot, and started gunning the truck the rest of the way home.

As I pulled into my drive-way, I couldn't help but notice my spot was taken up by another car.

It was one that I recognized. A giant, green soccer-mom type van. It was Mike Newton.

I didn't care.

I pulled up into the drive-way, hopped out of my truck and went sprinting into the house.

"Bella?" Charlie jumped off the living room couch in response to my slamming the door on my way in.

"Can't talk." I mumbled, practically flying up the stairs.

"Bella, Mike Newton's here to see you…!" I could hear Charlie's muffled yell from inside my bedroom. I didn't respond, my hands frantically searching for my copy of _Wuthering Heights._

"Aha…!" I breathed, finally locating it under by bed and at the same time I could hear Mike's voice call out my name. I honestly didn't care- Mike Newton could wait. The whole world could wait. If this worked…

For a brief moment I wondered if I actually was going insane.

Then I snapped back to reality.

I approached the head of the stairs, looking down on the surprised faces of my father and Mike Newton. Charlie had one hand on the banister, the other on his hip, staring at me like I was nuts. Mike Newton just stood there, his face twisted in a confused expression and one eyebrow cocked.

"Bella…" Mike began. "What are you doing?" He sounded more amused than honestly curious.

I didn't respond, hoping that if what I was about to do actually worked, I wouldn't need any explanations. I threw the book onto the 6th stair so that when it landed it was open face-down.

"What the…?" Charlie began, but I had already started to run down the steps in my frantic and crazy attempt.

When I reached the 6th step, I hit the book at just the right angle. I went flying through the air, my eyes closed, and my jaw clenched preparing for the impact. I could barely make out Charlie's shouting. I landed with a thud, my eyes still closed, and a _whoosh_ sound escaped my mouth.

I groaned and rolled over.

"Isabella Swan. What in the _world?"_ Charlie's tone sounded like a mix between anger and shock.

"Did it work?" I asked hastily, opening only one eye to catch a side-ways glance at Charlie, who was scowling.

"You mean you killing me?" I heard a muffled groan form underneath me, and realized I must have landed on top of Mike. "Yeah. Pretty sure it worked."

I quickly pushed myself off of Mike, mumbling an apology.

"Sheesh, Bella." Mike dusted himself off as he picked himself off of the ground. "What's with the suicide attempt?"

"Sorry," I mumbled again, but my mind was somewhere else. I was dying to know if my crazed attempt to fling myself back into my other life had worked.

Charlie was still scowling at me, hands folded across his chest.

"Bella, if you need to see the doctor again, I'm sure-" Charlie began, but I cut him off.

"Dad, I'm fine." I reassured him, itching to get to the phone and call Edward.

"You know, Mike came all the way down here to see if you were getting better, and from what I've seen…" Charlie left his sentence hanging in mid-air, glancing side-ways at Mike, who was grabbing at his side.

"Yeah, Bella. What's up?" Mike asked in a strained voice, obviously attempting to hide his pain.

"I'm sorry, Mike, really." I said, side-stepping my way into the kitchen. "Will you, uh, excuse me for a second?" I asked, not waiting for either of their answers as I darted into the kitchen.

I picked up the phone, the dial-tone tauntingly ringing in my ear. My hands were shaky as I dialed the numbers of Edward's cell phone, not sure if I should be calling him so soon, and yet dying to know if my lunatic stunt had actually worked.

As I punched in the last number, my head spinning faster than a pin-wheel in a tornado, I started to consider the odds of my success.

As the phone began to ring, I realized they didn't look so good…

-Edward's POV-

"It was just so incredibly odd…" I repeated for what must have been the 100th time to Carlisle and the rest of the family who had been sitting the living room, all hanging on my every word to hear how Bella Swan went crazy in our backyard. Everyone except for Alice, of course, who had to restrain from blurting out any detail I missed.

Carlisle nodded his head, soaking in what I had told him.

"Carlisle, how could she have _known?_" I questioned, still in disbelief that my science lab partner had known every secret I ever had. Could she read minds also?

"It is odd…" Carlisle murmured to himself, mulling over his thoughts. I tried to restrain breaking into Carlisle's mind out of respect, but at times like these it became very tempting.

"She told _you_ that you couldn't read her mind?" Jasper asked, leaning against the back wall with his arms folded. "How would she know that, out of anything?"

"Yeah," Rosalie piped in. "And she knows what happens to us when there's not enough cloud coverage. Did you ever let her see you on a bright day?"

I shook my head no, not understanding anything. I felt a strange tugging at me heart, and wondered what it meant. My head felt like it was swamped with questions, and no one had any of the answers.

"Well, Carlisle, what do you suppose we do?" Esme asked, her golden eyes staring curiously up into her husband's.

"I think it is rather peculiar that Bella Swan knows so much about Edward…" he paused, probably judging my reaction or giving me room to add anything. I just stood there, arms crossed, waiting for him to finish. "But I honestly think that there is no harm done here. She recently had a bad spill, so not everything may be quite in order, if you know what I mean. So let's all give her a while, I'm sure things will cool down." He assured us.

We had all began to murmur in agreement when my phone vibrated in my jean pocket. I looked at the caller I.D.

"Carlise, it's her." I stated simply, letting no emotion into my voice as I let the phone continue to vibrate.

"Answer it." He commanded, and I flipped open the phone.

"Edward Cullen speaking," I spoke into the phone.

"Edward? Oh, Edward! It's Bella!" She spoke frantically into the receiver.

"Yes?" I asked, keeping my voice calm and level.

"I probably sound stupid, and I'm sorry for bugging you like this, but I need to know. What's your last memory of me?" She asked, her voice trailing off at the end in a hopeful tone.

"You were over at my house," I began slowly. "And we took a walk on which you brought up…certain issues."

There was a slight pause, then a barely audible "Oh…" as I heard a click and a dial tone.

I brought the phone back in front of my face and stared at it like it were some foreign object. I clicked it shut and put it back into my pocket.

Of course my family had heard everything, and only Carlisle was brave enough to speak.

"Just give her time." He assured me once again. "It will all blow over."

--


	6. Accepting Reality

Hehe, thank you for reading my story! To answer some questions, yes, Jacob will be coming into the story...very soon actually. :)

So, without further adue, Chapter 6!

**DISCLAIMER:** I had this dream that I owned Twilight. But then I woke up.

--

As I hung up the phone, I felt numb.

Edward could not remember me. No one could remember me.

For some odd reason, I didn't feel particularly devastated. More like motivated to get to the bottom of this mystery and prove to everyone that what I'd been saying wasn't all crazy. I knew there had to be an explanation to whatever was going on here, because this sure as heck wasn't a dream-that was for sure. This was reality, and reality sucked. I wasn't sure how I had landed myself in this strange parallel universe, but I was determined to find a way out.

I turned around and walked back into the living room, a wave of guilt flushing my face when I realized the extent of my damage. Mike was sitting in a chair, still wheezing and grabbing his side, and Charlie was glaring at me from the corner.

"Well, Bella?" Charlie asked me, using a tone a parent might use when they were trying to force an apology out of their kid.

"Yeah," I coughed. "Sorry, Mike. I really am. I think I just lost my head there, for a second." I told him lightly, glancing at Charlie through my hair.

"I'll say." Mike grunted, scooting over on the couch in, making it obvious that I was supposed to sit down next to him.

Talk about _awkward._

"Um, so, what did you want to talk to me about, Mike?" I asked, still standing with one hand on the couch.

He looked at me, then at the empty spot next to him on the two-person couch, then back to me again and shrugged. I was not sitting down. "Well, just wanted to see how were, actually. You had us all pretty scared when you fell down the stairs…the first time, I mean." He glanced at Charlie for backup, but he was still sitting in the corner with a permanent scowl on his face, so he kept going. "You missed out on an awesome bon-fire, but I'm still glad you're okay." His face beamed, his smile stretched out across his face.

I couldn't help but let a small smile escape. Mike was still a good person, even in this bizarre new world.

"Well, yeah. Thanks Mike. I should be fine now, I'm sure." I reassured him, though deep down he had no idea how un-fine my life had become.

He took this as his cue to leave, nodding at Charlie who _still _wasn't speaking, probably waiting to explode on me. I walked him to the door.

"I'll see you later Mike. Sorry, again." I apologized for the billionth time.

"It's okay, Bella." He beamed. You can make it up to me by coming to another bon-fire, alright?"

I laughed. "Sounds good." I opened the door for him, but not before he tried to lean in and kiss me.

I froze. _Mother of God, what do I do!?_ I evasively twisted my head to the side, so his lips caught my cheek.

"Um, see yah, Bella." He mumbled, as shuffled out the door.

I shut the door and peeked out the door window to make sure he was gone before I blew out an exasperated sigh of relief. I had figured Mike and I were close in this paralleled universe, but not _that close!_ Ugh.

I glanced into the living room, where Charlie was staring at me.

"I don't even know what to say Bella." He finally spoke with an edge to his voice.

"I'm really, really, really sorry Dad." I pleaded with him. The last thing I needed today was someone else thinking I was crazy.

"I'm serious, Bella. If you don't get your act together…" he didn't finish his sentence.

"Don't worry, Charlie. It won't happen again. I swear." I gave him my best puppy-dog face, and he sighed a smile.

"Alright, kiddo. You just had me so worried the last few days. I'm just glad you're okay." He elated, and I ran over to his chair to give him a hug. I couldn't have him believing I was crazy anymore.

"I'm going to get some sleep." I told him, straightening up. "It's been a, um, long day."

"That's right…what did you need to do over at the Cullen house?" He asked as he picked up the remote and turned on the T.V.

"Oh, nothing too important." I said, and just left it at that, seeing as how I was losing the conversation to Sports Center. Which was fine with me.

I ran up the stairs this time, careful to avoid any misplaced books, and got ready for bed.

As soon as I crawled into bed, I realized that sleep wouldn't come easy for me tonight.

It had been such a long day, and I must have spent a good hour mulling over my thoughts, all the while listening to Charlie shuffle into his room and eventually snore himself to sleep.

I still couldn't believe how unbelievably un-real my day had been.

I was getting hazy as I recalled bits and pieces of my day.

My falling down the stairs a second time…

Landing on top of Mike Newton…

Edward…Edward not believing me…

All the flowers and gifts in my room…

Charlie saying Jacob had run away…

My eyes snapped open, and I sat straight up in bed. Jacob had run away. In my other life, hadn't Jacob run away, also?

It couldn't be true. Could it? Some piece of my old life corresponded to the new one. This was too good to be true, in a twisted sort of sense.

I needed to find Jacob. Maybe he was the answer to this 1,000 piece puzzle. If he could somehow prove to me that I had still existed…

I was already out of bed, pulling on my tennis shoes and jacket, grabbing my wallet and car keys.

I tip-toed down the stairs, careful not to wake Charlie. I went into the kitchen and scribbled him a note:

_**Charlie,**_

_**Please don't think I'm crazy. I need to go find a friend, and I don't know when I'll be back. I promise to be back, soon though. Don't worry about me-I'll be fine. I love you so much.**_

_**Love, Bella.**_

I grabbed a magnet and stuck the note on the fridge, knowing he'd see it when he woke up in the morning.

I stealthily made my way to the front door, still surprised by my agility, and left the house. As I climbed into my truck, I started to realize I had no idea where to look for Jacob.

But it didn't take me long to figure out.

Before I knew it, before I even had time to think about it, I had already started driving my truck to Emily's house, knowing that of anywhere in the world to find a clue about Jacob's whereabouts, it would be there.

And suddenly, things didn't seem so bleak anymore.


	7. Up, Down, Then Up Again

Thank you all for reading! I really do appreciate all of your comments. They make me smile. :)

Now, this next part, I must warn you. I have never been to Vancouver, Canada, therefore some of what you are about to read is only a figment of my imagination.

Well, techinically, this whole story is a figment of my imagination. Most of it, anyway, because...

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Twilight/characters.

--

I only had to knock once on Emily's door before she opened.

"Bella Swan? Is that you?" She squinted. I had probably woke her up.

"Um. Yeah. Hello." I smiled at her, realizing how odd it must seem to wake up in the middle of the night to a lunatic at your door. She smiled back anyway. I figured I must have come here with Jacob to see Emily before, and we were close, or else I probably would have been rejected thus far.

"Come on in." She said. I knew there was a reason I had always liked Emily. She was still the same happy, trust-worthy person in this strange world.

"Is Sam home?" I asked, as I sat down at her kitchen table and she started a pot of coffee.

She yawned. "No, Sam's out-" she paused with her back to me. "Um, Sam's out running some late night errands." She said.

I didn't question her, realizing that she thought I didn't know about the werewolves, and probably wanted to keep it that way. We must have been on good terms though, in this parallel universe, if she was willing to let me into her house at 1 o clock in the morning.

"Oh. Okay." I said, drumming my fingers on the table.

Emily turned around. "Was there something important you needed Bella?" She asked, with a concerned expression.

"Well, now that you mention it…" I began, taking a deep sigh. Emily sat across the table from me, sliding a cup of coffee across the table.

"I need to find Jacob." I said, letting my eyes explain. I probably came off as very worried and upset, which was what I was aiming for.

She stared at me, her eyes seeming to bore into my soul. "That's all?" She asked. Like she knew. She knew more than I was letting off.

"Yeah." I swallowed. I felt fidgety, like a student caught misbehaving by a teacher.

"I'll tell you where to find him." She said, her voice level. She understood. She understood that this was much more than just me going to try and find my best friend. Emily had this kind of intuitive sense about her, and it was probably picking up vibes that were more important than my simple request. But she was the kind of person who didn't need to pry, who wouldn't.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Had I mentioned how much I liked Emily?

"You'll find him in Vancouver." She told me, studying my reaction, probably wondering if I was going to ask why. "Sam told me this a few days ago. Said Jacob's gone there on some sort of spiritual quest." I couldn't tell if the last part was a lie or not, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to bug her like she hadn't bugged me.

Vancouver. If my oh-so-incredible knowledge of geography was correct, Vancouver wasn't too far from Forks. Just north. I'd probably get there within a day.

"Thanks, Emily." I said, and truly meant it. I rose from the table and emptied my coffee cup into the sink.

"You're welcome, Bella." She said, standing up also. I turned around to face her, and she was still studying me.

"You _have_ told Charlie, haven't you?" She asked, probably easily assuming that my snap decision to run away had prompted this late-night visit.

"Um, well, I er, I guess I uh…" I was stumbling over my words. "I wrote him a note telling him I'd be gone." I finally spit out.

"I won't tell him where you are, Bella. At least, I won't flat out lie." She confided in me. Emily realized that this was something important to me, something that I needed to do alone. "I'll tell him you stopped by here before you left. To grab a jacket, and that was it." She paused, nodding towards the back of a chair that had a big comfy parka draped over it. "Vancouver's cold."

I smiled and hugged her. "You have no idea Emily. Thank you so much."

She smiled back. "Find Jacob okay? Make sure he's alright."

I nodded. "I will."

"And here, take this." she said as she opened a cupboard and pulled out a cookie jar. In it were rolls of hundred dollar bills. She took out a couple.

My jaw dropped. "No way, Emily. You've helped enough. There's no freaking way…" I started but she shoved them in the coat's pocket and handed it to me.

"Please, Bella." Her eyes were bright. It was like Emily could read my mind. "For me. For Jacob."

I stared at the coat and finally took it, will an unsure look on my face. "If you're sure…"

"Positive. Now, hurry up, and be safe! I don't want you coming back home empty-handed!" She was referring to Jacob, and if anything, I was going to make sure I found him. For her sake, and definitely for mine.

--

"_Oh_. You have _got_ to be kidding me." I groaned, as my truck sputtered to a halt.

I was in the middle of nowhere. And when I say nowhere, there is no exaggeration. None.

I was on a lightly snow-covered forest road, about 10 miles outside of Vancouver. And I was out of gas. I had estimated it had been about 12 hours since I last left Forks, and by now Charlie must have woken up and just seen my note.

I had stopped about 20 miles ago to refuel, and I had no idea why I had just run out of gas. I groaned again.

"Way to go, Bella." I mumbled to myself as I zipped on the parka Emily had given me. I swung open the cab's door as my feet crunched on the newly snow-coated ground. It was still flurrying.

"Well, _crap._" I murmured as I assessed the damage. My fuel tank and sprung a leak, and my gas had been leaking out for as long as I could see down the road. I sank down by my back tire, and cradled my head in my hands. A few tears escaped, and soon I was sobbing.

Life just sucked. Or whatever this was. Nothing had been going right, and my only spark of hope was seeing Jacob again. And now that was probably gone, too.

As the tears began to dry on my face in the middle of this deserted forest road, I heard a crunching sound coming from the other side of my truck. It sounded like someone was walking towards me.

"Over here." I cried, my voice cracking on the "here". My head was in between my knees.

I heard the crunching footsteps come around to my side of the truck, and stop, as if they were staring at what a pathetic sight I was. I didn't look up.

"I need help." I moaned. I didn't care who was there, I didn't care what they thought of me. Nothing could get any worse than it was right now.

There was silence from the stranger. I finally lifted my head out of my knees, my hands rubbing my eyes.

"Well?" I asked, finally snapping my eyes open.

I jumped back, hitting my back tire.

Standing in front of me was a very familiar, very comforting sight.

A gigantic, redish-brown wolf with big dark brown eyes was staring back at me.


	8. Jacob Black

THANK YOU FOR REAAADING! Makes meh happeh. :D

Anyway, once again: noooo idea what Vancouver is like, so I appologize to any Vancouver readers if I don't get it quite right. Bear with me here.

So anyway, I spent a LOT of time writing this next part, even though you'll probably read it in like, 5 minutes. Ahh, the fruits of my labor. So anyway, make it last! Enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER:** Nope. Still don't own Twilight. Darn that Stephenie Meyer. :)

--

I was frozen. But it wasn't because of the snow.

"Ja-Jacob?" I whispered, my eyes as wide as dinner plates.

The wolf stared at me, the eyes seemingly withholding more knowledge than any old wolf. And then he licked my face, from my chin to my hair-line. I knew it was Jacob.

"Jacob!" I breathed an exasperated sigh of relief, throwing my arms around his warm neck. He barked a kind of happy sound, as if saying "It's good to see you, too."

I started crying all over again, this time the tears were a mix of joy and sadness. I had found him. "Oh, Jacob," I murmured into his soft fur.

He pulled back and stared at me intently, cocking his head to the side as a way of asking what was wrong.

"It's a long story." I began. I realized I didn't even know yet if Jacob had forgotten me. And then, as if reading my mind, he howled and darted back behind the truck and a short distance into the woods.

"I've got all day." A familiar husky voice startled me as I looked back to see a half-naked Jacob re-appear from the side of the truck. He was still the same looking Jacob, with his shaggy black shoulder length hair, lean wiry muscles, his beautiful bronze skin and big brown eyes. I jumped up from the ground and wrapped my arms around him.

I started to cry again. This was going to be very emotional.

He was stroking my hair as I sobbed into his chest. I was in convulsions now.

"Let's sit inside the cab, alright?" He suggested, probably thinking my shaking had to do with the cold. That wasn't even the half-of it, but I nodded my head anyway and crawled back into the car, with Jacob sitting in the driver's seat. It got very warm in there very fast.

"What's the matter, Bella? Why'd you come all the way out here to see me?" He asked, putting one arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer to him in the small cab. "How did you know where I _was?_"

I couldn't help but notice how good he smelled. Jacob always had that nice woodsy smell about him. Like right before it rains. That's what he smelled like.

I took a deep breath and began telling him my story, beginning with the part about me going under and ending up in the hospital and ending with my visit to Emily's house. I left out all details about Edward not remembering me, which was pretty much the whole middle of the story. If Jacob was truly going to remember me, he couldn't be biased. He let out a low whistle when I had finished.

"That sounds…intense." He said, not coming up with a more perfect word.

"Tell me about it." I said. I had been studying his face the entire time, judging his reactions, which looked genuinely surprised. It was time to ask him.

"Jacob…" I began, my voice steady. "What's your…last memory of me?" I asked, holding my breath. Time seemed like it had stopped, or someone had hit the slow-motion button on a T.V. set. I was focusing intently on Jacob, like my whole life depended on it. _Because_ my whole life depended on it.

"You…chose Edward over me." He said, with a slight frown. But that was all I needed.

"I KNEW IT!" I exclaimed, as I flung myself on Jacob, giving him the biggest hug I could muster. "Thank you, thank you, _thank you_ Jacob!" I murmured into his shoulder. He gently pushed me back, his hands on my shoulders.

"Um, you're welcome." He smiled a toothy grin, his stunningly white teeth in contrast to his dark skin. He had a confused face on. "But what are you thanking me for?" He asked with a laugh.

"Oh, Jacob, I didn't even tell you half the story!" I exclaimed, tears of gratitude welling up in my eyes. I knew it couldn't be a dream! There was some explanation to this after all.

I told him the other half of the story, how Edward hadn't remembered me or anything.

"That filthy _blood-sucker_!" Jacob scowled, barely containing his anger. "How could he have done that to you?"

"But don't you see Jacob? Everyone remembers the me of the past but you! That must mean I hadn't dreamt it all up, which means it's not entirely Edward's fault." I explained, hoping I hadn't lost him there.

"That still doesn't mean he had to hurt you like that, like the time he left you last fall." He growled.

I dismissed this last comment. "I do have a question, though. How come you remember me?" I asked him, the question had been begging to leave my mouth the entire time.

"I…I don't really know." He answered, pulling his brows together in a puzzling look. "How could I forget you?" He said, a small smile spreading across his face.

I smiled in return. "So…so you're not mad at me for, um, your last memory of me?" I asked, my voice small while I fidgeted with the zipper of my parka.

He looked down and played with the door lock, pushing it up and down. "Well, I was. But it wasn't because you hadn't picked me…" He said, his husky voice getting quieter. "I didn't want to see you die. That's what mattered most."

"Oh, Jake…" I sighed sympathetically, my heart wrenching. He fully 100 percent meant what he said. I looked up into his warm brown eyes. I didn't know what to say. So that's what I said. "I don't know what to say to that. I'm really not sure of anything at this point, considering the circumstances."

He looked at me with his big brown eyes, as if to say "Stay human, Bella. If you ever do one thing for me, just promise me you'll stay human." I could understand him completely, and he didn't have to say a word.

I closed my eyes and snuggled into his chest, his strong arms wrapping around me, just grateful that I had found someone who remembered. He would never know how much this meant to me. I stifled a yawn.

"You sound tired, Bella." He murmured into my hair after some time. I nodded my head. I was tired.

"I've been driving for 11 hours straight." I talked slowly, my voice muffled, and my eyelids weighing a hundred pounds each. I felt content. I felt safe.

"Holy crap, Bella." He let out a soft laugh that sounded very comforting.

I started to say something else, but lost myself in a ferocious yawn. He laughed again, his voice deep and husky, but I was already fast asleep.

-

I woke up snuggled in-between fluffy bed sheets.

"Where am I?" I my voice cracked, as I struggled to open my eyes. Jacob was standing in front of a window, one hand on his waist and the other against the wall. He had on a tight black T-shirt now. He pulled open the curtains and looked back at me.

"Vancouver." He said, gesturing to the snow covered mountains in the distance, a beautiful setting sun behind them.

"Oh." I said, and looked around the room. We were probably at some inn. There were two twin beds, a coffee table by the window, a bathroom and closet by the front door and a T.V. set in the middle. "What about my truck?"

He came over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I ran into town to call a repair shop after you fell asleep. I wasn't gone long. Anyway, they towed it into town." He explained.

"How'd I get here?" I asked.

"I carried you on my back the whole way." He said. I stared at him like he was nuts. He just laughed. "You held on tight. I wouldn't let you fall. Besides, it was all worth it to here you talk in your sleep." He grinned.

I was mortified. My face flushed red. "What did I say?" I groaned, pulling the covers up over my face.

"Nothing really." He smiled. "Just 'Jacob, oh Jacob.'"

I squealed. "Sorry," I apologized.

He laughed. "It was my pleasure. Although, I have no idea how we're going to pay for your car. The people at the repair shop said they won't be done for at least four days, and it'll cost at least 400 to repair. You really did some damage, there Bella." He paused to chuckle to himself. "Actually, I don't even really know how we're going to pay for this room. I only have a few dollars with me." He looked serious now.

Inspiration hit me like a giant green soccer-mom minivan. "Jacob! I've got 900 in my coat pocket! Emily gave it to me. That should cover everything." I sighed.

"Ex-cell-ent." He made the word three syllables. "Here, I got you some water from down the hall. And some crackers." He motioned towards the night stand, and I was more than happy to accept the food and drink.

As I ate, he stared out the window, looking off into the setting sun. "You know, Bella, I was thinking…" He began, staring intently into my eyes. "Don't you still have that scar on your hand that freak James gave you?"

I stopped in mid-chew. Oh my God. He was right. I flipped over my hand to see the crescent shaped scar still etched into my skin. Of course! How could I have forgotten to check for that?! "You're right, Jacob! I totally forgot about this!" I elated, realizing how stupid I'd been. Here was hard-core proof that was I was saying was true. I slapped my fore-head. Jacob laughed.

"I'm glad I could help…again." He said, his eyes sparkling. I was eternally grateful for his being. "Anyway, it's getting late." He said to himself. He got up and walked over to the other bed. "I got a room with two beds. You know, for you. I didn't know if-" he started to mumble but I cut him off.

"Thanks for being thoughtful Jacob," I said with a smile. He smiled back, his grin stretched back across his face. "Goodnight, Jake."

"Goodnight, Bella." He said. "You can watch the T.V. if you're not tired. I won't mind." He offered.

"Thanks, but I'm still pretty tired." I said, feeling a yawn coming on.

"Alright, well…see you in the morning, I guess." He said as he crawled under the covers, his too long legs poking out at the end of the bed.

"Jacob, can I ask you something?" I talked into the darkness after we had been silent for some time.

"Sure." I could hear his voice from across the room.

"Why'd you run away?" I asked him.

There was a pause, as if he were pondering his answer. "I don't know. Because of you. I was so angry the day I ran away. I had lost you, and I thought you were going to lose yourself." He paused, and I knew exactly what he was thinking about. "It was kind of a stupid impulse."

"Oh." Was all I said. "Thanks for telling me."

"Sure, sure, Bella. Anytime." He yawned.

"Mmm," I mumbled partly to myself, but I could already hear light snoring coming from the other side of the room. I was glad Jacob was with me now. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I wondered what Edward was doing right now. Or Charlie. Charlie was probably freaking out. I didn't want to think about it. I wondered what I'd be doing right now if Jacob hadn't rescued me from my night-mare. Once again, I couldn't bear to think about it.

I crawled out from under my covers and into Jacob's bed. I snuggled against his chest, heat emitting from every corner. He was still unconsciously asleep

"Thank you, Jacob Black." I murmured, and feel fast asleep beside my savior.


	9. Impulses and Regrets

Thankies for the reviews, guys. :D Keep it up, and I'll keep writing!

So for this next part, I was thinking, "Well, Edward got his POV, so why shouldn't Jacob...?!"

So you all get to enjoy Jacob's POV! And remember: read it slow! SAVOR it!

**DISCLAIMER:** Still no ownage of Twilight.

--

-Jacob's POV-

I woke up in the morning to find Bella sleeping snugly at my side. She looked too precious, so innocent curled up in a ball nestled in between the sheets. Her cheeks were tinted a light pink, and I sighed.

Why did she want to die?

She had no idea how beautiful she was. Too much so for her own good. If she had chosen me, she wouldn't have to compromise a thing. She would stay the same, beautiful, radiant Bella and she would be happy.

We would grow up together, grow old together. I could shelter her; I could make her laugh when she was upset. I could be her sun on a rainy day. I could take her places, show her things she'd never experienced before. We would get married and have children. She would be the best mother on earth, watching after her kids, playing with them, comforting them. We would live a perfect life.

I looked down at her again, her eyelids shut softly over her warm brown eyes. Her cheeks were still a rosy color, and I gently ran my hand against them, brushing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. She was so delicate.

Bella began to stir in her sleep, letting out a soft moan. In one swift movement, I rolled over to the other side of the bed, closed my eyes, and pretended to be asleep as she woke up.

I sighed to myself again as I realized that she had already made up her mind, and she knew what she wanted. I would love her forever, regardless of what she was. But I wasn't going to make her choose between two opposite worlds, two worlds that could never co-exist together. I would not be able to watch her suffer again. It would tear the both of us up. I wasn't going to push that on her again. We would both just have to live and learn. She wanted Edward. She wanted death.

-

-Bella's POV-

I rolled over onto my back and let out a low yawn, my hands gently rubbing my eyes.

I opened my eyes and stared at the hotel ceiling.

Oh. Right. I was in Vancouver.

I sat up in bed and looked over at Jacob, who was fast asleep next to me, realizing that the heat from the radiator had been way unnecessary last night.

He seemed to be sleeping soundly, and I couldn't help myself as my eyes lingered on his wiry muscles, his skin a beautiful bronze color in the morning light. I groaned inwardly, slightly shaking my head as if trying to rid the incoming thoughts.

I was still in love with Jacob.

I had realized this again sometime last night, as I snuggled in beside him. The feeling would never go away, as much as I wanted it to. I wanted for us to be just friends so badly. I didn't want to hurt him. He deserved better than me. We would just have to live and learn to tame our feelings. It was far too late now. I blew out a sigh, shaking my head clear.

"Jacob?" I whispered, nudging his shoulder.

"Yeah?" He asked, rolling over.

"Oh." I didn't think I'd wake him that easily. I had been counting on using a bucket of water as my last resort. "Good morning." I finally said with a smile, my hair falling into my face as I pushed myself out of the bed. I walked over to the window and flung open the curtains, gasping as I took in the gorgeous mountain view and the newly fallen snow.

"Good morning to you too, Bella" He said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I waited, wondering if he was going to ask about the sudden bed change, but he didn't seem to bring it up.

"It's so beautiful." I whispered still in awe at the mountains.

"Yeah it is." Jacob said, suddenly right beside me. I jumped.

He laughed a deep, husky sort of laugh. "Do you wanna go check it out today? The mountains, I mean. It's not like we've got much else to do here for the next four days." He rolled his eyes in a playful sort of way.

I blushed. "Sorry again. About the truck…"

"No problem, Bells, seriously. It's not like you did it on purpose. Besides, we got the money to cover it so there's nothing to worry about." He reassured me, rubbing my shoulder. "We've got nothing but time on our hands. The day is ours." He said with a smile so wide it seemed to take up his whole face.

I couldn't help but grin back, but I was still fidgety, in an anxious sort of way. I sat down on my unused bed.

"You want to get back to Forks, don't you?" He asked, sitting down beside me, staring intently into my eyes. Jacob could always read my emotions, as if they were scribbled across my forehead.

I nodded a weak nod, biting on my thumbnail and looking down. It wasn't that I didn't cherish my time with Jacob, and I definitely didn't want him thinking that, but a part of me was dying to get back to Forks to explain to everyone that I wasn't going crazy.

"Well, hey, I could carry you on my back the whole way!" he offered, throwing his arms up in the air like it was no big deal, trying to make the situation seem lighter.

I giggled. "Naw, Jake. You don't have to do that. I won't make you suffer." I smiled at his humor. It was all just going to have to wait. Jacob was excited to be spending time with me, like we used to when things weren't so complicated. And I had to admit, I was a little excited also. If indeed my days as a human were numbered, I couldn't think of a better way to spend them than with the one person who had always been there for me. My best friend.

"Well that's good! Because the thought of carrying _you_ on my back for miles and miles just seems _unbearable._" He blew out a dramatic sigh swiping his hand across his forehead, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So, how about those mountains?" I asked with a smile on my face, feeling confident it would stay there for the rest of the day.

-

"JAKE!" I screeched, as he hurled another snowball at me. I could not stop laughing, and neither could he. We were in the mountains, far away from the skiers and snowboarders. I had let him carry me up the mountain, until we had found the perfect secluded spot for our snow-ball war.

Jacob let out another boyish bout of laughter, his arms wrapped around his waist. "Aw, c'mon Bells! You're too easy of a target!"

"Well, some of us don't have the advantage of super-human senses!" I huffed, trying to be serious but failing miserably when I saw him laughing. It was infectious.

I stumbled onto a tree stump, short of breath as I tried to contain my laughter. We had been tossing around snowballs all afternoon, and it was getting dark, meaning we had to head back soon. I didn't care though; I never wanted the laughter to end. I could not remember the last time I was truly this happy and light-hearted, like all of my worries were out the window.

Jacob took three long strides towards me and rested a hand on a tree, also trying to catch his breath. His eyes were still sparkling with excitement.

We stayed there, quiet for a while, just appreciating each other's company. Nothing needed to be spoken between us. That was what was great about Jacob. We could be silent with each other, smiles still plastered on our faces, and it wouldn't be awkward at all.

After the sun had begun to dip behind the tallest peak, Jacob turned to me. "We should probably head back down, you know…" He just nodded his head in the general direction.

I nodded back and sighed. "Yeah."

And suddenly I was scooped up into his arms, and he was trotting down the mountain at a comfortable pace. I was content right then. I had needed some time to wind down; my life had been so stressful up to this point. Of course, I still couldn't wait to get back to Forks, whatever awaited me there, but I realized that it could wait for now. I needed this time with Jacob. It was like reconnecting with the past. It made me feel light and happy, like I had been drowning and was suddenly breathing fresh air.

Before I knew it, we were in the lobby of our inn. Jacob let me down in one swift, gentle motion. I was suddenly panicked, not wanting the day to end so quickly.

"Let's sit by the fire." I suggested, spotting a comfy fire off to the side. Only then did I realize that Jacob was probably hot enough to account for a fire himself, but I didn't care. I wanted to be with him.

Jacob's eyes lit up. "Sure. I'll get us some hot chocolate." He offered.

I snuggled into a comfy couch in front of the fire, staring intently at the flames' mesmerizing dance. It was passionate, the flames leaping and licking against each other, like they were vying for space. Jacob returned with two cups and settled in next to me, pulling me out of my reverie. Once again, I felt at ease, like nothing in the world could harm me. Jacob totally had that effect.

He smelled really good again, this time like the winter cold mixed with pine trees and that outdoor type of smell. I inhaled the scent as I sipped my hot chocolate.

For what seemed like years Jacob and I spent our time on the couch reminiscing about past memories. Not once did he bring up the time when Edward left me, left me feeling my emptiest. Instead we focused on all of the good times, the times spent in his garage working on his rabbit or our motorcycles. The time when I first met him on the beach, when he had first told me the legends of the vampires and werewolves. When he came to my prom, suddenly a foot taller than the last time I had seen him. The time when he and I went to the movies with Mike Newton. 

We must have spent a good 10 minutes laughing hard about that one, after which I laughed so hard I accidently spilled my then cold chocolate all over floor, which had us laughing even harder.

"Crap, Bells." Jacob laughed, as he wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye. "Nice going."

I finally got my laughing under control, taking in deep breaths. "So much for being accident-prone." I murmured.

"What?" Jacob asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"Oh, nothing. I guess. Charlie had told me-and swear you won't laugh-that I am very accident prone." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh." He said, mildly amused but trying not to laugh. He knew we were entering a touchy subject. "So…Edward honestly didn't remember you?"

I nodded me head yes, and he scooted over on the couch to wrap me up in his arms, me lying against his chest. I was suddenly aware that we were the only ones in the lobby. Everyone else must have gone to bed. He began to stoke my hair.

"It's going to be alright, Bella. I promise. He's going to remember you, there's got to be a reason why he doesn't." He said, and for some reason I believed him. I wanted to believe him, needed to.

"I'm so glad you remember Jacob." I murmured, staring into the fire again. My heart began to swell.

I could hear him murmur in agreement, and tore my gaze away from the fire to look up into his eyes. There were little tiny flames dancing in his warm brown eyes, which were staring intently down into mine. I could feel the heat of the fire against my open shoulder and a different kind of heat against the part of my arm that was pressed against Jacob. It felt soothing and comforting, and yet so much hotter than the heat from the fire for some reason.

Now it was Jacob's eyes that I couldn't pull away from. I was like a sponge, soaking up every detail of his soft eyes, his pursed lips, the way his black hair fell into a perfect outline of his face. I wanted more, and a small part of me was screaming irrationalities, but I didn't care. I wanted more.

I titled my chin up and kissed him lightly on the lips. He kissed me back lightly in response, letting his lips linger on mine, his arms wrapping tighter around my shoulders.

I let my lips pursue his with a little more enthusiasm, pushing them and moving them in that unfamiliar way that I thought I would be used to by now.

He grabbed my chin and titled it up with his strong hand, brining my face closer to his, our noses brushing. I paused to inhale his intoxicating scent, and then lowered my mouth back down to his, letting him push open my mouth as his hands began to comb through my hair. I twisted my body to a better angel, and twined my hands together behind his broad, muscular shoulders. I let myself soak in every detail.

He pushed me back against the arm of the couch, kissing me back with an intense eagerness. Kissing with a passion that was a burning as bright as the fire in front of us. He broke our kiss and whispered huskily into my ear, "I love you, Bella Swan."

I only murmured in agreement, breathing raggedly as he began to softly nibble on my ear. I let out a soft whimper, and his lips slowly found their way back to mine, caressing them with a passionate tempo. I felt like I couldn't get enough, and there was so much more to absorb. I was surrounded by heat, and yet it wasn't hot enough.

He began to let his mouth linger down to my neck, dropping sweet kisses to my collar bone and back up my neck, his lips melting into my skin. I couldn't breathe.

A sudden memory made me freeze.

Edward.

Jacob noticed my tension, and looked down into my eyes.

"What's wrong?" He breathed, dropping one, two, three kisses lightly on my lips before I could answer.

"No. Jacob, no." I said, my breathing still ragged, and I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. I deserved to rot in hell.

"What? What is it?" He asked, his eyes wide with concern.

"I'm such a horrible person." I said, and pushed him off me as I jumped off the couch. "You don't deserve me. I'm lying to you, Jacob. I can't...I can't do this." I choked, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks as I realized that I had betrayed Edward. Realizing how difficult it was for me to keep my emotions in check.

He stared at me with mixed emotions on his face, making my heart feel like it had been ripped out of my chest. "Bella, sit back down. Let's just talk abou-" He started to say, but I cut him off.

"No, I'm sorry Jacob." I said. "I'm so sorry you ever had to meet me. I've been ruining your life." I told him, tears flowing silently down my cheeks. I didn't give him time to respond, as I turned and sprinted up the main staircase and into our hotel room, leaving him sitting silently on the couch.

I couldn't bear to face him. I couldn't bear to look at him. I was in love with him so much it killed me. I knew I loved Edward more, but I wanted to smack myself for being so selfish, to think that I could possibly have Jacob also.

But what did I know? Edward may not even remember me. It was a painful thought, but one that had to be considered. I was sure I had proof that we had existed, but I wasn't sure he would remember. How could I be 100 perecent sure? Only 3 more days.

I crawled into my bed, turning my back against Jacob's bed. The tears hadn't stopped flowing from my eyes, and I shook with silent convulsions. I was such a stupid, selfish human.

I cared for Jacob so much, but we could never be lovers. It would never work like that, and it was time I realized that. I wanted so much for Jacob and I to have a relationship, a friendship at the most. I wanted it so badly.

But that was near impossible. That was a dream.

I heard the room door open again some time later. I didn't look over my shoulder, pretending to be asleep, as I heard Jacob shuffle into bed.

I didn't say goodnight.

And neither did he.

--

**(WideEyedMonkey here. Before you guys go bananas on me, I just wanted to clear this up: this fanficton will not end with Bella and Jacob as lovers. That is all I will say for now, no mention of Edward.)**

**;)**


	10. AN

**All right.**

I think a little Author's Note is needed at this point in the story. Honestly, you guys have been great fans and I love reading your reviews, but I think people may not be quite sure where I stand and where this story stands. Now, I'm going to try my very hardest to reasure you without giving anything away, but it will be hard, so you guys just have to trust me. :)

I, as a person, am Team Jacob when I read the Twilight series. I still love Edward so much, but I _am_ more team Jake. (That still doesn't mean I don't love BxE!) **HOWEVER**, (and this is important readers, so take notice!!) _this_ story is NOT under any circumstances going to end with Bella and Jacob as lovers. I just thought it would add a llittle spice to the mix if we have a little fling between Bella and Jacob along the way. I think it adds more depth to the story, with them discovering their emotions and all. **_PLUS_**, what happens now will be important to the events that will take place at the end of the story. :)

I don't want to mention the fate of Edward or Bella though, because I'm afraid it might give away the ending even in the slightest. I CAN say that the ending will be satisfying, though. Satisfying.

Haha.

Well. I hope I kind of cleared that up. I love Jacob a lot, and I love Edward a lot, too. There will probably be more stories that I write later on that focus more on Jacob, but for now, I WANT NO ONE thinking that this story will end Bella/Jake.

Thank you again! And remember, _trust me_. I won't let you guys down.

-**WideEyedMonkey**


	11. The Truth

Hellooo loyal readers! I finally finished up what should be chapter ten (note my Author's Note) but that was nessecary, I think. Anyway, I want **A LOT** of reviews for this next chapter, 'cus I spent a HECK of a lotta time on it. :)

It's a really important chapter too, so, PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE! xD I love youz all.

**DISCLAIMER: **I totally pwn Twilight. Not.

--

I spent the last three days cooped up inside the hotel room. Jacob spent them at the car garage, mumbling something about how he could help them somehow, but probably just wanting an excuse to get out of the room. It was that awkward.

I mean, I couldn't blame him. After I had kissed him, or rather _we_ had kissed, I couldn't look him in the eye anymore. I was afraid it would betray all of my emotions.

I was sitting on my hotel bed, shoes and coat on, waiting for Jacob to get back. Today was the day we were going back to Forks. I tried to keep my mind off of it _and_ Jacob by flipping through the boring television channels. I wasn't paying attention at all though. My stomach felt like it was suspended in mid-air, threatening to crash at any minute.

Jacob opened the door to our room. "Ready, Bella?" He asked, his voice void of emotion and not making any eye contact as he grabbed his jacket off a chair. "I got your truck out back."

"Yeah." I nodded as I turned off the T.V. A tense silence filled the room. I could hear my heart throbbing in my throat, threatening to jump out of my chest. It was so loud. I was sure my face had flushed a deep red.

Jacob sighed and sat back down on my bed. "Bella, look. We need to talk about this." He said.

"Talk about what?" I asked, trying to play stupid and hoping he would buy it. He obviously didn't.

"Don't be stupid, Bells. You know exactly what." He looked at me for the first time, his eyes a strange mixture of confusion and hurt and anger. It made my heart rip at the seams.

"Jacob." I sighed a barely audible sound as I plopped down next to him. "Where to begin…" I mused.

"Are you in love with me, Bella?" He asked, cutting straight to the point, running his hand through his hair. "Because I'm in love with you, and it doesn't seem to be working out so well for the both of us." He sighed.

"Yes, Jacob." I said, my voice seemingly far away. "I'm in love with you. But I shouldn't be. I can't be." My voice broke.

We sat there in silence, Jacob sitting still like he was pondering something, his head in his hands. Finally he spoke again. His voice had lost its edge.

"I'm sorry too, Bella." He confessed. "We can never be lovers, and we both have to just come to terms with that." Hadn't I just told myself that last night?

"I know." I said. "Jacob, I love you so much. But you know I love Edward too. I loved Edward first." I confessed, and I could see the pain clearly on his face with every word.

"And you love him more." Jacob added quietly.

"Jacob…" I flustered, not finding the right words.

"It's okay, Bella. I understand that. I've understood that for some time now." He told me, looking at me with melting eyes. "You know all that I want."

Pain shot through my heart. He wanted me human. "Jacob. I love you too. I love you more than you can possibly imagine. But I can't keep pretending I can have you, too. I…I mean...you…It's you or Edward." I sighed as the truth sunk in.

"It doesn't have to be." He said, looking down at me, and I was confused. "Bella, I love you so much I would be willing to sacrifice anything for you. We can be friends, we can try. As long as you're in my life, I can be happy."

"But…" I started to say. I felt the exact same way. I wanted him in my life no matter what. But there was one concern. "Would you still want me even if I was a vampire?"

He had a sharp intake of breath and then slowly blew it out. "Yes. I would love you regardless." He said. I could see it in his eyes. He truly meant it. It would be so hard for him, but he meant it.

"Jacob." I sighed, and leaned over to hug him. He hugged me back, me resting my head on his shoulder. "Jacob, I love you. I want to stay with you forever. As friends. Best friends. That would be the most wonderful thing in the world." I said, and truly meant it.

"I'm glad." He said, and there was finally happiness in his voice. "It'll be hard, I won't lie Bella. I'm in love with you, and I always will be. But I can't push that on you anymore. I want for us both to be happy."

"Me too," I said, lifting my head off of his shoulder and looking up. I smiled. I was so glad we had figured it out, for now. It _was_ going to be hard. Harder than anything, because I was in love with him, too. But by loving him so much, and wanting him in my life so badly, we would both have to make compromises. I knew, eventually, that this would find a way to work out. True love conquers all.

I blew out a deep breath I felt like I had been holding in for the past three days, and with it went all of my anxiety. "Ready to go then?" I asked him.

He stood up with me and looked me in the eye. "I'll be with you every step of the way." He smiled, and it reassured me. "What are friends for?"

-

"Jake, I can't do this." I started freaking out in my car, which was rapidly approaching the city of Forks. Jacob was driving.

"Yes you can Bella." He tried to calm me down. We were almost to Forks, and what was our first stop? The Cullen house, of course.

"Noooo I can't." I was fidgeting with my window, rolling it up and down violently.

"Bells, cut it out." He reached over the wheel to grab my twitching hand, stopping the window in mid-roll.

"What if they don't remember me? That's always a possibility. What are we going to do?" I had a panicky edge to my voice.

"Bella, it'll be fine. They _have_ to remember you. You still have that scar, remember? There's got to be an explanation for that." Jacob said.

"You're right." I agreed. Breathe Bella, breathe.

Before I could realize it, Jacob was steering my truck up the winding drive-way that led to the Cullen house. My stomach was doing more flips than a trapeze artist. I felt sick.

Jacob parked the car in front of the desolate house, cutting the groaning engine. "Do you want me to go in with you?" He asked.

"Of course." I responded. What kind of a stupid question was that? I needed him now more than ever.

"Let's go then." He said, and we both exited the car and made our way up to the front step of the Cullen house. It felt like it took forever to get to the door, but I managed.

I looked over at Jacob, who gave me a quick squeeze. "You can do this, Bells. I'm right here." He whispered warmly, and I nodded my head. I was practically biting my bottom lip off.

I stared at the door, Jacob waiting patiently by my side. I knocked.

It didn't take long for the door to be answered.

"Bella?" It was Carlisle. He looked shocked. "I thought you had run away. Charlie has been looking everywhere for you. Does he know you're here?" He paused to look over at Jacob, making a slightly wrinkled face, but it was gone in a split-second. He had too many manners and years of practice to let his disgust of werewolves show. In fact, his look of disgust had disappeared so fast I might have even imagined it.

"No, Charlie doesn't know I'm here." I said, my voice even and gaining confidence.

"Did you want to use the phone, then?" He asked politely.

I shook my head no. I took a deep breath and then held up my hand.

"Care to explain this?" I asked, my voice flat. I flipped over my hand, scar side up.

Carlisle stared at it, his face unreadable. I shot a quick glance at Jacob, who was staring intently at Carlisle.

Carlisle let out a deep breath and stared me straight in the eyes.

"You've figured it out. Come inside." He said, and opened the door for both Jacob and I.

I shot a surprised look at Jacob, who in turn shrugged. He had no clue either.

"Alright. What's going on here?" I asked Carlisle as he led us to the living room couch. The house was empty except for us.

Carlisle sat in a chair opposite Jacob and I. He had his hands folded, elbows resting on his knees.

"It's a long story." He said.

"I've got time." I shot back, maybe a little too harshly.

He nodded his head. "You deserve to know." He took a deep breath and then began his story.

"It all started a couple of weeks ago, Bella. Everything is as you remember it. Everything you confessed to Edward last week-it was all true." He paused and I nodded my head, just letting it all soak in. "Your life has always been as you described it. However…Edward does not remember you at all. Nobody in Forks remembers you as you remember them in your life. Same with Renee in Florida. The only ones who remember you are me, and obviously Jacob." He nodded at Jacob.

"But why?" The question had been burning in my mouth.

He held up his hand. "Let me explain. It all started these last few weeks as I said. The Volturi were in town, Bella. Your time was up. They were going to kill you." I had a sharp intake of breath, and Jacob grabbed my hand and gently started to rub the back of it.

"You see, Bella," Carlisle continued. "You weren't a vampire yet. That was their problem. For some reason they had decided to end you. Usually they might have waited a few years, but their most recent visit after the battle with the New Borns must have prompted them to schedule a more recent return. Thankfully I found them before they found you."

I just stared at him, my mouth suddenly feeling dry, waiting for the story to continue.

"I found them in the woods; they were ready to kill you that night. I believe it was the night you and Edward were planning your wedding…" He paused as if to make sure he was right. "Anyway, I begged them to give us a few more weeks until after your wedding, when you were officially going to be made into a vampire, but it was no use. When the Volturi are determined, they are determined. I spent a long time negotiating with them, and finally we settled on a bargain."

I looked Carlisle in the eye, knowing where this story was going. I still wanted to hear it.

"The Volturi have…powers, Bella, you know that. Their powers are unquestionable, unbelievable. They've had centuries of mastering mystical arts on their side. What we agreed on was saving your humanity. And in return, I agreed to let them erase the memory of the entire town of Forks, including you. But only the memories the people had of you connected with us. Nobody would know you had ever had a special relationship with our family, especially Edward. Not even yourself. Obviously, that last part failed. I speculate it has something to do with how impenetrable your mind is to vampires. Anyway, our goal was to make you to forget you had ever come into contact with our world." He paused to let me speak, or think, or both.

"Is that why Edward doesn't remember me then?" I asked, my voice weak.

"Yes, Bella." He nodded his head. "And the Volturi made grave mistakes. They should have been more cautious. For one, they let Jacob slip through the cracks. He was out of town when it all happened…were you not?" Carlisle addressed Jacob for the first time.

"That's right." Jacob's voice sounded steady. Carlisle bobbed his head and continued.

"And secondly, the scar on your hand. I don't understand how they could have missed that, but they did." Carlisle sounded incredulous.

"I don't understand, though," I asked Carlisle. "You knew this whole time. Why didn't you tell me?"

He laughed a small laugh to himself. "I've had years of acting on my side. If I let you know, then the Volturi were bound to come back. I was only protecting you." He explained, and I knew he only had my best interest at heart.

"So, the bloodsu-I mean, Edward still doesn't remember her?" Jacob asked, his voice curious.

Carlisle shook his head no. "I don't know what to do now that you've figured it out." He mused. "The Volturi could come back at any time."

I shivered. That was a scary thought. I couldn't think straight at the moment. My mind was trying to wrap around all of the valuable pieces of information that had just been thrown at me. I still couldn't believe what had happened. I knew it was all true. I just hadn't realized how grave it was.

Suddenly, the back door opened and the sound of footsteps reached us from the living room.

"Carlisle?" A familiar voice called.

"In the living room, Edward." Carlisle called back as he sat up in his chair.

"The hunt was great, Carlisle, you should have-" Edward stopped short as he entered the living room. The look of disgust was great on his face as he caught a whiff of Jacob. Then his eyes landed on me, and he pulled his brows together in a look of confusion.

" What's going on here?" He asked cautiously.

"Sit down, Edward." Carlisle gestured. "We have a lot to talk about."


	12. Remember

Once again, mucho thanks to my readers.

Alright, so I have no idea what Bella's middle name is, and I'm kinda too lazy to go look it up. So if "Marie" doesn't fit, I'm sorry. Anyway, you guys did and AWESOME job of reviewing last chapter, and I want to see **even more** this time! Here's the rest of the story. :)

**DISCLAIMER:** Last night I wished upon a star that I was Stephenie Meyer. It didn't happen.

--

"This is a joke, right?" Edward asked, and his eyebrows rose so high they could have disappeared into his hairline.

Carlisle had just finished repeating the story to Edward as he sat next to Carlisle opposite me and Jacob. He wasn't taking it very well. He still couldn't believe it.

Carlisle shook his head. "I'm afraid it isn't, Edward."

Edward looked at me again, his eyes incredulous. "We were going to be…married?" He asked.

I felt a stab of pain in my heart. Actually, it was more like consecutive stabbing every two seconds. It was horrible. I nodded my head yes at Edward. He sat back in his chair, looking stunned. This was obviously hard for him to hear.

Suddenly, a new thought popped into my head. "Carlisle, when I talked to Edward last week, he wasn't affected by my scent. He still doesn't seem to be." I said that last part quietly, looking down at the floor. "Why?"

Edward spoke up. "Now that you mention it, if everything you have said here today is correct, your scent is…somewhat attractive. But it's faint."

"It should be, a little at least." Carlisle began, as Edward sat confused in his chair. "There _was_ something the Volturi remembered. You see, Bella, I think you've figured out by now that you didn't fall down your staircase…"

"Yeah, I figured that." I said, and let him continue.

"You _were_ rendered unconscious, but you weren't in the hospital for treatment to only that. You were there for a blood transfusion. The Volturi demanded it. They knew that as soon as everyone had forgotten the "old Bella," it wouldn't be long until Edward bumped into you again. And when he did, he would be drawn to your unbelievable scent. About 75 percent of the blood in your body is donated." He finished.

I gasped. I couldn't help it. Holy crap. Holy _crap._ "What are we going to do?" I asked, as the question seemed highly appropriate.

"I think you should go home to see Charlie first," Carlisle said, rising from his chair. "You should calm him down. I need to speak with my family, as well." He shot Edward a weary glance, probably sending him his unspoken thoughts. "I'll call Charlie tonight. If it's possible, I'd like if you could come back here tonight so we can discuss…our plans for the future."

"Alright." I said and looked at Jacob. "Jacob's coming too." I said, and it was more statement than question.

"Of course," Carlisle reassured me.

There was a short silence before Edward spoke. "Bella, I really can't see into your mind." He said quietly, almost to himself. "This is all true, isn't it?" He asked, although the question wasn't really directed at anyone. I nodded my head yes anyway.

He just stared at me, his eyes showing confusion and nothing else. "I can't remember." He said to me. His eyes bore into mine, as though searching for a clue inside my mind-the one mind he could not enter. He had to remember. We were going to find a way.

"Bella, we should go." Jacob nudged me with his elbow. I tore my eyes away from Edward and nodded my head. It was time to go home.

-

Jacob dropped me off at Charlie's house.

"I'll come pick you up tonight," He promised me as we got out of the truck. "I've got to go home and, you know, explain some things to Billy and the others. Actually there's going to be a lot to explain." He mused, and I understood.

"Good luck," I said, and hugged him a tight goodbye. "Thank you again, Jake. You'll never know how grateful I am for everything."

"No problem, Bells." He smiled and prepared to leave. "I'll see you later. Good luck with Charlie." He chuckled. He had no idea. This wasn't going to be pretty.

I watched Jacob take off into the woods, morphing into his wolf-form with ease, and then I cautiously opened my front door. There was silence.

Suddenly I heard a "ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, IS THAT YOU?!"

Oh boy. "Yeah?" I squeaked. Why was it easier to face a vampire than my own father?

I heard footsteps come bounding down the main stair-case and Charlie's beat-red face appeared. "WHERE IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU BEEN?" He stormed, grabbing my shoulders and looking me straight in the eye.

"I told you!" I protested. "I had to find Jacob."

The steam was practically flying out of Charlie's ears. "This is the LAST time you leave this house without permission again, _do you understand me?_ Do you have ANY idea how long I looked for you?" He fumed, not giving me a chance to answer. I thought it was best I kept quiet.

"Emily Young said you needed a coat, and no one else knew anything. ANYTHING. I had half the town looking for you. Oh, Bella…!" He started pacing the walk-way between the kitchen and the living room.

"Charlie, it was something I needed to do." I said with conviction.

"Well did you find him? Where did you go?" He asked, and I thought he was calming down.

"I found him in…Vancouver." I said.

"CANADA?" Charlie screamed. He was obviously not calming down. He started pacing again. "When did you get back?"

"This morning." I answered, and suddenly it felt like I was in an interrogation room, a dull light bulb hanging in the center of the room, bracing myself for the slap across the face.

"Why didn't you come straight home?" He asked, no inflection in his voice, just a hard edge.

"I had to stop at the Cullen house." I told him, trying to make him believe my story. "There were some things I needed to do there."

"Like what?! Bella Swan I swea-" Charlie was interrupted by the shrill ring of the phone, and he went fuming off to answer it. I blew out a sigh. I was safe for the moment.

I peaked my head into the kitchen as I listened to the one-sided phone conversation take place.

"Dr. Cullen? Yeah, hi." Charlie answered the phone, his voice still gruff and probably sounding very rude to Carlisle.

"Tonight? HAHA. I don't think that's going to be poss-" He paused to listen to the other side's argument. He suddenly sighed, and the angry red on his face began to fade.

The next few minutes were a series of "Mhm"s and "I see"s. Finally the conversation reached a climax.

"Alright. I understand." He paused. "Mhm. I'll allow it for tonight." He paused once more and then hung up the phone. He whirled around to face me

"The Cullens invited you over for dinner tonight. I'm letting you go, but don't think you're off the hook with me, missy." He glared, though his mood seemed considerably better. I wondered why.

I ran over to him, giving him the biggest hug I could muster. "Thank you, Dad." I said.

"Mhm" He mumbled for what must have been the thousandth time in two minutes. He sighed. "I'm glad you're alright though, Bella. You have no idea how much you scare me when you do things like that."

I wanted to tell him that I was an adult, and that I was entitled to do whatever I wanted, but I kept my mouth shut. I figured now was not the best time to launch into another argument, especially for whatever lay ahead tonight.

As I released myself from Charlie and began climbing the stairs, my mind was whirring at a hundred miles an hour, trying to process everything that had happened in this short amount of time. I couldn't focus, and for some reason the only logical question that kept resurfacing in my mind was: "Do the Cullens even own a dining table?" I had a major headache.

-

As it turned out, Jacob couldn't come with me to dinner. He had way too much on his plate at La Push, too much explaining to do. He made me promise before I left that I would call him as soon as the meeting was all over to get him in the know. I promised.

As I knocked on the Cullen's door that evening, dressed in blue jeans and a dark green sweater, I wished that Jacob was here. Even though I knew Carlisle remembered, I still wanted Jacob by my side.

This time Edward answered the door. "Come in Bella," he said, and he looked stunning. I couldn't notice what he was wearing, because my eyes were drawn immediately to his face. His hair was perfect, bronze and lightly falling into his eyes, and his eyes were that beautiful golden shade. I wondered if he thought I looked beautiful, too. I didn't dwell on the thought long though, as I entered the Cullen house.

He looked somewhat uncomfortable with me standing there beside him in their house, and he led me to sit down on a couch, the same one I sat on earlier, and sat down next to me.

"Rosalie and Emmett are vacationing in South America," He told me, sounding unsure, as if he still couldn't believe I knew so much about their secret life; his life. "Anyway…Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme went out to get you a pizza." He said.

"How many vampires does it take to order a pizza…" I said jokingly, in my pitiful attempt to lighten the awkward mood. It worked. He grinned at me and laughed a musical laugh.

"They didn't have to, you know, I'm fine really…" I said.

"Don't worry about it." He reassured me, his liquid gold eyes studying mine.

"How'd you get Charlie to let me come?" I asked, as I had been wondering all afternoon.

He chuckled to himself. "You probably know this, but Jasper can be very persuasive."

"Oh, yeah. I know." I said, realizing he must have talked to Charlie, calming him down over the phone.

There was an awkward silence for a long time. Finally he sighed.

"It's frustrating, not being able to see into your mind." He confessed.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, and I didn't really know why.

"What was it like…us, together?" He asked, and he sounded like he had thought deep about it.

I felt tears in my eyes and struggled to keep them back. "It was perfect." I finally swallowed. "We were beyond in love. Beyond soul mates. You wanted to spend the rest of eternity with me, and so did I." I said quietly.

He looked at me hard, and to me it seemed like he was almost wishing what I said was true to him. I could see belief in his eyes. "You know, I've always thought you were very cute." He told me, although it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. I knew how long he'd been waiting for a soul mate. I was supposed to be his. He was so lonely in this strange world. My heart ached.

I blushed slightly. "Thanks." I said. I didn't need to tell him what I thought of him, I'm sure he could read it clearly enough from my ogling facial expressions.

"We were getting married then?" He asked, as he leaned in closer, a curios expression on his face.

"Yeah." I said, and gulped hard. "Alice wanted it to be lavish, with lace and bouquets of flowers everywhere."

"Mmm" He mused, and looked me in the eyes, his eyes golden with perfection.

He leaned in closer, so our faces were almost touching. "Were you in love with me?" He asked, and his voice sounded sad, almost regretful, like he had missed out on something big.

"Yes. Very much so." I whispered. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his face, his stunning, angelic features mocking me.

He seemed to be studying me intently as well. "Do…do you mind if I try something?" He asked quietly.

I couldn't breathe. I nodded my head a weak yes.

He tilted his head slightly and lightly pressed his lips to mine, making my head spin with dizziness. An explosion rocketed though my body, as if I was being awakened after so many years of being dead. His lips melted into mine, and he softly pushed them with his for a few seconds. He had to have felt the spark.

He pulled back; his face still only inches from mine, and looked into my eyes. His eyes were hurt and confused. He looked vulnerable.

Edward looked at me as though he needed me so badly, as if it was torturing him, but he couldn't figure out why.

He spoke again; his breath was sweet against my face. "I want to remember."


	13. Decisions

OH MY GOODNESS! HOW I HAVE MISSED FF! This past week of school for me has been HECKA hectic, like through-the-roof, and might I say I am SO GLAD TO BE BACK! I appologize for any of you who have been pulling their hair out waiting for the next chapter as I had been dying to write it! :)

Anyway, for this next part, it had been brought to my attention by a reader that Edward could simply delve into Carlisle's mind and get back all of the memories he needed. Well, first of all thank you to the reader who pointed this out. I'm glad you brought it up. This is partially true, and partially not in my FF. Yes, Edward _could_ enter Carlisle's mind, but he tries not to out of respect (as I mentioned in earlier chapters.) and even if he did, he would not find every single memory he had with Bella. I explain this a little more in the next chapter, though I thought that Edward simply getting inside Carlisle's mind and finding some memories of him and Bella wouldn't be very romantic, no? xD

Anyway, kudos to you if you read all of that. I'll let you get on with the main event now. :) **REMEMBER, I LIKE REVIEWS, SO KEEP 'EM COMING! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: **No Stephenie Meyer equals no Twilight. No Twilight equals no ownage. Darn.

--

"It's only a matter of time." Carlisle warned us through clenched teeth.

We had been sitting at the Cullen's dining room table for an hour debating what could possibly be the best option concerning my future. Since we couldn't decide on anything, Alice wasn't much help. Carlisle believed that it wouldn't be long until the Volturi came by to check up on their work. And they wouldn't be happy.

"He's right." Alice finally spoke up from her end of the table. "The Volturi have Forks on the top of their agenda. They plan on making a visit soon."

Carlisle murmured something to himself, and I was glad Jasper was sitting at the table next to me. I was pretty sure that otherwise I'd be having a heart attack from all the stress right about now.

"Then we should get to them first." Edward said, pounding his fist on the table. I could tell he was angry about the situation, about having his life ruined.

Carlisle looked to Edward. "Meaning…?" He asked.

"We beat them to the punch." Said Edward sternly. "We go to Volterra, Italy, and get to them before they get to Bella."

"Edward, you can't take out the entire Volturi clan, that's imp-" Jasper started to say, but Edward cut him off.

"I don't mean destroy them. I mean talk with them, negotiate." Edward explained.

There was a silence as everyone soaked in what Edward had said. I had been silent most of the night, putting in my opinion here and there, but in my opinion Edward's suggestion sounded the best out of anyone's so far. Or maybe that was just my crazy, naïve, human grasp on the situation. I was desperate.

"Alice?" Carlisle finally broke the silence and turned to her, questioning the future.

"I can see they're willing to negotiate…but I can't see what they will decide, depending on what you ask them." She opened her closed eyes.

"What do you think, Carlisle?" Edward's eyes opened wider. "Should we try it?"

"It might work…" He mused, stroking his chin. "Of course, we don't know what they will decide…"

"Oh, shoot!" Alice snapped her fingers and looked over at Jasper. "Should we cancel our second honeymoon? We've been planning it for forever…"

"No, that's not necessary." Carlisle reassured Alice, his voice soothing but his eyes still hardened with concern.

"Carlisle, are you sure…?" Edward questioned Carlisle's judgment about leaving Alice behind, his voice tense.

"We'll manage, Edward." Carlisle said. "The Volturi know of Alice's ability. It might bring them offense to show up with her. They'll know we're at an advantage. If we want to gain anything, we have to play it fair. No, I think it's best that Jasper and Alice stick to their plans." He nodded his head in their direction.

Alice and Jasper both nodded gravely while Edward sighed. He wanted to remember so badly now. He was willing to do anything, that was plain to see.

"Are you willing to try it still, Edward?" Carlisle asked, his voice stern.

"Yes." He spoke the one word, his voice solid.

"And you Bella?"

I looked around the table, at the people who I had known and loved yet couldn't remember and love me. I looked at Edward, at how helpless he seemed. He was mad, that was for sure, and there was also a kind of pain etched across his face. He wanted to love me. He knew it might not be impossible to try and love me again, but he wanted the memories back. It wouldn't be the same, even if he did try and get inside Carlisle's head to soak a few up. It would be artificial; it would be fake. He wanted to his old life back. So did I.

"Yes." I said, trying hard to keep my voice level. I needed to sound convincing. "What about Charlie?" I asked, knowing that if a plane ride to Italy was in the works, as soon as Charlie got word of it the rest would be history.

"I'll take care of it." Carlisle reassured me, and I believed him. "So, it's settled then? We'll leave for Volterra in two days. That is, Bella, Edward and myself." He gave Esme a tight squeeze on her shoulder.

I nodded and then shuddered slightly. In two days time I'd be on my way back to Italy to try and reverse my life. To correct everything that had been destroyed. I crossed my fingers behind my back in a childish, superstitious sort of way and prayed for luck. I was sure we would need it.

-

I hadn't even had time to park my truck when Jacob came running out of his house to greet me. He scooped me up in a big hug that left me gasping for air.

"Good to see you too, Jacob." I managed to squeak.

He laughed a deep, warm laugh and set me down. "I'm so sorry I couldn't come tonight. I was tied up pretty tight here." He rolled his eyes.

I laughed lightly and started walking with him, both of us knowing that we were headed towards our favorite white-washed log on the beach. It was a beautiful night out, with a clear sky and millions of tiny stars sprinkled up ahead. Once we sat down, I started talking again.

"So, how'd it go here?" I asked, trying to avoid getting around to my evening. I knew Jacob was going to be upset when he found out I was going to see the most powerful vampires around. I swallowed nervously.

"Rough." He answered shaking his head, his messy black hair falling around his face. "Talk about twenty questions. Only, like, times ten."

"Sounds harsh." I sympathized.

"Seriously." He sighed. "Billy grounded me for a month." He grumbled. "Punishment for not controlling my impulses."

"I'm sorry," I said as I gave his arm a tight squeeze.

"What about you, though? I've been dying over here." He said the last part sarcastically.

I bit my lip. "It was…um, productive. We decided on some things."

He raised his eyebrows, implying a "Go on."

"And, we uh, decided that we're going to Italy." I told him.

He looked confused. "What?"

I sighed and looked down. "Jacob, we're going to see the Volturi."

It was like I could hear the light bulb click on over his head. He knew exactly what I was talking about now. "For what?" He asked, though I was sure he knew where I was going.

"We're going to ask to bring back everyone's memory." I said, leaving out the last part which was inevitable. Jacob knew. He was there this morning when Carlisle had explained the Volturi's original intentions. "And the Cullens will have to change me." I almost whispered. Carlisle had told me this before I had left their house this evening, even though I had already guessed it was what would have to happen.

"_Damn it!_" Jacob cursed as he angrily hopped off the log and began pacing back and forth in synch with the waves that were crashing on the beach. "_Damn it all to hell, Bella!"_ He fumed as he picked up a stone and sent it flying across the water.

"Jake you don't understand," I got up and started to plead with him. "If the Cullens don't change me, then the Volturi are going kill me-"

"What's the difference?" He spat, causing me to tremble. I could see pain in his eyes. "You're going die, you're going to die either way. You honestly don't see that?" He yelled, his body shaking with rage. "What's the use?!"

"Jacob calm down." I urged him, using a tone of voice that a teacher might use with her unruly 7th grade class. I could see he was on the verge of morphing, and I had to calm him down.

He took a few even breaths and then paced back and forth before he sat back down on the log.

"I just have to face reality." He said, his voice flat and his eyes staring off into the ocean.

"Jacob, I'm really sorry." I said, because I couldn't think of anything else as I watched his face crumple under the pain.

"Bella, I just wish…" His voice cracked, and he took a minute to compose himself before he looked at me, putting one hand on my shoulder. "I wish that you had never met the Cullens. That you had never been introduced to this mythical world where everything sucks. I know that's not how you feel about them, but that's how I feel. I want you to stay human so bad, Bella. So bad." He cracked, and I could tell he was holding back tears.

"Jacob, you know how much I wish I could stay human-" I started to tell him.

"Do you? Do you really?" He asked, the tension rising in his voice again. "I know how much you love him. Don't lie to me and tell me you'd do anything for that."

I was silenced.

"But what has he ever had to do for you Bella? Hold his breath when you're around so he won't have the urge to snap your neck? Hardly a fair trade considering you're the one who has to give up their life in the end." Jacob said, a hard edge to his voice. "Why do you have to be the one to sacrifice?"

"Jake, there's no other way-" I said, grasping for words when I heard Sam's unmistakable voice call out into the night, searching for Jacob.

"I've got to go." He said gruffly, pushing himself off of our log. His face was hardened into the Sam mask I hated. I jumped up after him, grabbing his arm.

"Please, just listen to me Jake…" I begged as he shook my arm off, his wolf-charm bracelet I had been wearing jangling against my wrist. "I don't want this to be how I leave you." I said and instantly regretted it. It just made everything worse.

"It's too late Bella." He said, his voice cold. "You've made your decision. I'm sorry it has to be like this. I hope you're happy."

I wanted to scream at him, remind him of all the things he had promised back in Vancouver. How he said he would be there for me even if I were to become a vampire. How he would love me no matter what. I wanted to grab him and shake all of the love out of him. Instead I just stood there dumbly, staring at him as he morphed into his wolf form, glancing back to look at me one more time.

His eyes were filled with pain as he looked back at me, and for a split-second I thought he might come back and hug me and be supportive of me and rock me to sleep as I fell asleep crying into his chest. Only for a split-second.

He turned his head and howled a long, agonizing howl that sent the birds in the trees into a frenzy as they climbed into the night sky. It sent my heart to the soles of my shoes.

He left me there as he bounded into the forest and up the trial. I sat back down on the log and squeezed the wolf charm into my fist, looked up into the dark blue night sky, and let the tears I had been holding back finally flow freely down my face.


	14. An Understanding

Hello, fellow fan-ficers! It's been a while since I've last posted, and I'm sorry. But, you know, school's winding down and I have finals and everything. So, this next entry may seem a little short, but there is a reason for that. Okay, so, basically I had a lot more that would go with this next entry, but then I was like "Alright self. Here's the ultimatum: You can either post like, a novel now and not be able to post more until next weekend due to time restraints. OR, you can split it up and post the NEXT half in a day or so." So, I figured for the sake of the readers I would split it up, so there will be more VERY VERY soon because I already have it halfway written! YAY! :D

(Oh, and, THE TWILIGHT MOVIE TRAILER...!? Uhm. Pretty sure I died. Also, a little bit of that trailer influenced a little something in my next post. ;D Let's see if you can pick it out...)

Remember, **reviews** are much appriciated! I like to know how I'm doing. :)

**DISCLAIMER:** I own Twilight. In my _dreams!_ -muwahaha-

--

**Edward's POV:**

I couldn't drown out the wretched howling that filled the night sky.

I was out hunting because I knew that the next morning Carlisle, Bella, and I were making our flight to Italy, and I had to be utterly under control. I didn't want to lose my impulse to a random passer-by in the most guarded and protected city in the world. No, that, I think, might be more than a little disrespectful to the Volturi.

The howling was getting louder, and I was getting closer. I had just finished up a couple of nice deer when the sound had started, and now I was beginning to detect certain hints of sadness in the howl.

This was no ordinary wolf. As I got closer, I could actually hear thoughts forming in its mind. It was Jacob Black-and he was upset.

I walked out of the trees and into a small clearing near the cliffs, the sound of the ocean roaring beneath me. Sure enough, Jacob was near the edge, howling into the night. He sensed my presence easily. His head whipped around and he let out a ferocious snarl. I braced myself for the attack I knew was coming.

He came at me with a powerful force, and I quickly side-swiped the attack, grabbing his side and letting his momentum carry us back into the trees. He quickly broke free of my grasp, rolling onto the ground but jumping back into a fighting stance in no time. I mirrored the stance right back, crouched low and ready to attack, a snarl escaping my lips.

_Get out of here, bloodsucker._ He snarled at me through his thoughts.

"I don't want to hurt you, Jacob." I warned, my voice low. "Let's just talk this out."

_Talk about how you're going to kill her?_ He barked, and the sound was menacing. _How could you. We've discussed this before. _His mind suddenly flashed to an unfamiliar scene, where he and I were talking in a tent, Bella sleeping at his side. I was confused. He picked up on my confusion.

_Oh, that's right. I forgot. You can't remember anything. You can't remember her._ He thought, sounding anything shy from apologetic. His comment was meant to sting. And it had.

"You can't even begin realize how sorry I am for that, _dog._" I spat at him, my voice cold and dripping venom.

He launched himself at me, ripping at my right shoulder. He was definitely strong, his fierce rage and determination carrying him with a powerful stamina. But I was stronger.

I threw him off me, sending him slamming into the nearest pine tree, the trunk splintering at the impact. I could hear him whimper. _Why should you be sorry?_ He thought, a little of the edge taken away from his voice. _Why should you even care about her?_

His question caught me off-guard. I held up my hands in surrender, giving him the chance to cool off.

I could see he was debating it, how he wanted to keep going at me for hours, but he knew it would be a losing battle. I saw a shiver ripple down his spine, and he quickly trotted into the woods and the reappear with a pair of jeans on, human and all. His face was still hard.

"Why do you care?" He asked again.

"Why shouldn't I care? I had my life and memories taken away from me; that is hardly fair." I countered, trying my best to keep my voice under control.

"But do you care about her?" He asked, his voice hollow.

I stared at him intently. He loved her. I could see he was thinking about all of the memories they had shared together, how they had kissed, how I had once told him that he would be a better match for her than me, but she wanted me more anyway. I was surprised by these memories he had. My life had been so different. I had truly loved this girl, and he did too.

"Of course I care about her." I told him. "She was a part of my life."

"Would you still care about her? Even if nothing works out?" He questioned, and I knew he meant if somehow I couldn't remember her, would I still be able to love her.

"I…I would try." I promised him, but at the same time, it almost sounded like I was trying to convince myself.

He was scrutinizing me now, his brows furrowed in seriousness. "Good." He finally said, as if giving me approval. "You don't know how she's willing to do anything for you. You have no idea." He said, his voice low.

Suddenly, a new memory opened in his mind, a fresh one. The one he had been agonizing over. I saw him and Bella fighting. He was angry she was turning herself into a vampire, turning for me, for our possible future. She would be giving up her human life, and Jacob was horribly upset. He would be losing his best friend in the world. He blamed it on me. "_What has he ever had to do for you Bella?" _I could hear his memory loud and clear, and it made me cringe. _"You're the one who has to give up their life in the end." _

His memory echoed in my brain, in my heart. Suddenly all of his memories hit me at once, and they would not stop flowing. He treasured her as a human, and so did I. I saw her blush, her smile, her strengths and her weaknesses. The way her hair curled in the muggy heat, the way she wouldn't give into anyone, her stubborn demeanor and determined face.

I saw how Jacob and Bella had confided in each other: her wishing she could stay human for his sake, but not knowing any other way to be with me. He wanted her to stay human so badly, and she wanted to remain his friend even more so.

The next memory I saw was of her on the floor of the forest. She was curled up in the fetal position, her stare empty. She was repeating my name over and over and over again, unable to cope with the unbearable pain that had come from…my desertion. I had deserted her. I had made her like that.

I had to steady myself by putting one hand against a tree. I had never seen a human so…so _un-_human before. And I had made her that way.

"Why?" I asked him, my voice strangled.

He gave me a quizzical look.

"Why did I do that?" I asked him again.

He looked at me hard. "You thought it was best for her."

Then I was seeing how he had helped her, nursed her back to health. He had comforted her, made her laugh, and eased her pain. He helped to fill the gaping hole that had infested her heart. They had become inseparable, both needing each other. I saw Bella choking on sea water having just been rescued from an insane cliff dive, all trying to ease her pain. I shuddered. I could not remember anything.

The severity of the situation had finally hit me, hard and fast. I meant the world to Isabella Swan, and she was willing to die for me. Isabella Swan had meant the world to me, and I was not giving up a thing in order to be with her.

"Jacob, I had no idea." I confessed, my voice wavering.

"Now you know." He said, his voice still very cool.

"I wish I could do something…but the Volturi…they're…let's just say you don't disobey them." I told him as I watched the pain on his face grow.

"There's no way around it." I heard him murmur to himself in small shock.

He walked over to me and looked down, staring me straight in the eyes, everything about him determined.

"Promise me you'll protect her." He said, sounding much older than the 16 year old boy he was. He was beyond his maturity level, this was certain. He would walk the ends of the earth for his best friend, and he wanted to hear me say I would do the same thing for her.

"I promise you that I will, Jacob." I told him, and truly meant it.

I could feel the pain radiating off of him in waves. It was hard for him, hard for him to realize that the one he loved and cared for would have to die.

"You'll do anything." He said, and it wasn't as much question as it was an order.

I thought about what I had just experienced. How in the last hour my life had experienced a revelation. I had found more out about Bella Swan than I would have ever guessed. I had a new respect for the werewolf that called himself Jacob Black. I had glimpses of my past life, and I was not willing to give it up.

I nodded solemnly.

"I will do anything for Isabella Swan."


	15. Plane Rides and Nightmares

Here's what I promised! Nice and soon! xD  
This is back in Bella's POV.  
I'm appriciatin' the reviews, so keep 'em coming!  
:)

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Twilight. Waaah!

--

I couldn't stop fidgeting.

We had just taken off from Washington on our long, long, _long_ flight to Volterra, Italy. I must have chewed my lip off from nerves by now, a thousand thoughts whirring in my head, none making any sense at all. I glanced over at Edward, who was sitting next to me boring holes into the seat in front of him, looking as nervous as I felt.

Well. At least I wasn't alone.

He looked at me and quickly and smoothly regained his composure, a soft smile playing on the corners of his mouth. "It's going to be fine." He reassured me quietly, though I could tell he was doubting some things himself. Alice's absence, for one, was a more than a little unsettling. It would have been reassuring to have her sitting next to me right now, like she had been only a few months ago on a plane bound to the same destination.

Was that only a few months ago? I shook my head at the unbelievable time lapse. Either way, Carlisle had known what he was talking about when he had decided to leave Alice behind. I was, in no way, looking to upset the Volturi, though I had a feeling my presence alone might set a negative tone.

I looked back at Edward. "Thanks" I replied meekly, not breaking eye contact. His eyes were a golden hue from his recent hunting trip. "For doing this, I mean."

He shook his head slightly, as if to dismiss my comment. He spoke low, almost whispering to me. "I'm willing to do anything. I had a life, a life besides this one. I can feel it. But I can't remember it. I feel a connection with you-but it's faint."

I sighed. He was so troubled. It made me even more depressed that my eternal soul mate, the creature that was created for me, had been robbed of his memory.

We let a silence stretch between us as we both sat in contemplative thought. I had been lucky to even board this flight, Charlie being overly stubborn and hard to convince. I'm not quite sure how he managed it, but Carlisle set up the trip to sound like it was educational, as if we were going to be visiting historical landmarks and museums, strictly put together for an informal purpose. He told Charlie it was for a youth group he had worked on, and even managed to show Charlie pictures of some of its members (form where he obtained these-I had no idea.) All I know is that, in the end, Charlie grudgingly allowed me to go, saying a little cultural experience would be good before college. He did want proof that I had learned something though, so Carlisle had packed a few books for me on Italian history on the plane ride over, just in case.

Leaving Charlie had been hard though, of course. I didn't know if it would be the last time I would see him before I would change into a vampire. I knew that the chances were high, so I tried not to make it as emotional as possible. I wasn't being very realistic when I had told myself that I could buy more time after we returned to be changed. I knew that if it were going to be permitted, it was going to have to happen under the Volturi's very eyes. Of course, there was also a chance that they would order me flat out killed. I shuddered. It was a good chance.

I thought back to the last time I had seen Jacob. It made me overwhelmingly sad. Sad was an understatement. I felt sick. I couldn't believe I'd actually left him like that, howling in agony. I was just so frustrated with him. He said he'd be there for me. I knew it was tough for him-tough for him to come to terms with my being changed. Maybe I would just have to give him some time alone, to mull over his thoughts. While a large part of me wanted to be content with the fact that he would be okay after a while, a small part still screamed from the tiniest corners of my body, telling me he would find it exceedingly difficult to ever look at me the same way again.

I decided to change the subject. "So what was your life like then? The life that you're living now." I asked, a little curious and a lot unsure of what his answer would be.

He paused, as if thinking carefully over what he was going to answer. "Would you really like to know? I don't want to hurt you." He said, probably scared of tainting my feelings

I cautiously nodded my head. I had been honestly curious, no matter what he said.

He sighed. "Where to start…"

I settled into my seat, bracing myself for the information that was about to be dropped on me.

"It wasn't as exciting as you might imagine. When you live for an eternity, there isn't much rush to anything. To be perfectly honest, it was a bit boring." He confessed.

I sensed there was more he wasn't telling me. "There's more…isn't there?" I asked quietly.

He shifted uncomfortable in his seat, wincing slightly. "It's nothing really…hardly worth mentioning."

I gave him a hard look. "What?" I asked. "I want to know."

He grimaced. "Well…I did have relations with another vampire…a female…but it was nothing really. Mostly mutual."

Now it was my turn to wince. "Tanya?"

His eyes widened. "How do you know?"

I sighed. "We'd talked about her once before. In your bedroom. You had told me that she'd shown interest, but you had politely turned her down."

"Oh…" He said, and let his voice trail off, although his eyes still seemed to be searching mine.

"There was…more?" I guessed, hoping severely that I was wrong.

"Well, you have to understand that female vampires can be very assertive. It's not rare to see the female…well, choosing their mate." He explained, and it looked like he was struggling.

"She asked you to marry her, didn't she?" I questioned, though there was really no need. I felt slightly numb.

He nodded his head sheepishly. "I declined, of course. She wasn't really my type."

I nodded back. "You prefer brunettes." I said, and laughed a little at my own joke. He just cocked his head in confusion, probably wondering how I knew.

"Well…yes." He said, and then stifled a small smile that made my heart thump. "I didn't mean to upset you though. Who knows, really. After all, my memory _was_ erased. It just as easily could have all been a figment of my imagination."

I pursed my lips. "Yeah." Was all I said, secretly hoping he was right. Though I didn't show it, the thought of Edward with anyone else twisted my insides with jealousy.

I decided to give up on our conversation and turn my attention to the stack of books that were sitting next to me in the seat. I picked on up and began to leaf through the first one. Holy crow. This was going to take a while. I side-glanced at Edward who was sitting perfectly content next to me, probably just mulling over his thoughts. I guess you really _don't_ get bored easily when all of eternity is waiting for you.

I must have gotten through half of the pile of books, my brain crammed full of Italian history, when I started to drift off into a light sleep. The dreams followed soon after.

-

_I was sitting on a brick wall in Italy, starring at a beautiful flower garden in some sort of park. I was startled by a wolf's presence at the other end of the garden, slowly studying its surroundings. I was sure it was going to attack me, or at least destroy the garden. Instead it walked around the garden, sniffing each plant, careful not to harm any one. It seemed particularly fond of a rosebush; I could tell. Suddenly it lifted up its head and howled a low, echoing sound. It sounded hurt. As I looked closer I could see it had accidentally rubbed up against the rosebush, a thorn pricking its chest. "What has he ever done to the rosebush?" I wondered out loud, watching the poor creature suffer from afar. "All he did was care for it, and that's the thanks he gets." I scoffed at the unfairness of the situation. _

_Suddenly my attention was diverted. The scene morphed into the flower garden at night, the moon's pale light casting shadows over the flowers. The wolf was nowhere to be seen. There was a gazebo near one of the corners, and I walked over to it, casually strolling through the garden. _

_I stopped abruptly at the entrance, noticing two figures inside. I caught my breath._

_There was Edward, standing tall and marble-esque and as stunningly gorgeous as ever. But standing next to him was an insanely attractive blond-haired female, her eyes glowing gold in the moonlight. She was dressed in a tight black dress that showed off her curves as well as her __wiry muscles. Her strappy black heels made her equal to Edward's height. My subconscious had created this character, and I knew instantly that she was Tanya._

_I watched as she tousled his hair, and he casually wrapped his arms around her waist, both of them oblivious to my existence. She leaned in and whispered something to him, her tongue gliding over her teeth as she spoke._

_Suddenly it felt like I was falling, my stomach hitting the bottom of my feet. I knew what was coming next. _

_He leaned in and kissed her, their mouths both mirroring each others. They didn't pause to take breaths, as they didn't exactly need any. They looked stunning together, like a match made in heaven. The most beautiful couple on earth. It made me sick._

_Tanya broke their kiss, finally recognizing me, and cackled, her voice sounding sinisterly beautiful. Edward glanced at me also, giving me a small but clearly unapologetic wink._

_I screamed._

-

A cold hand gently slid over my mouth.

"Shh." Edward cautioned, waking me from my nightmare. "Bella, are you alright?"

I glanced at him, wide-eyed and frantic. "Areyousureyou'renotmarryingTanya?" I asked, my words coming out in a rush. I needed to be certain.

"No, Bella." He responded firmly. "Tanya was a while ago. We've not been in contact for years." He assured me, his voice solid.

I breathed deeply. It was only a dream. Nothing to worry about, Bella, nothing to worry about.

Edward gently pushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering slightly on my neck. "Everything is fine Bella." He said, his eyes warm and comforting.

I sighed and looked out the window, surprised to see land below me instead of water.

I looked over my shoulder at Edward giving him a quizzical look. He understood immediately.

"You've been sleeping for quite a while. We're in Italy." He responded nonchalantly.

I glanced out of my window again, knowing my fate was rapidly approaching.

I could feel it in my stomach. Suddenly my nerves had resurfaced. It was time to face the fact that from this point on, worry was probably inevitable. I closed my eyes and sighed.


	16. Visit to the Volturi

Here is the **MEGA-HUGE** Chapter 16 that I have slaved on!  
PLEASE savor it! I have finals this week, and then school will be OVER for me!  
And that means more devoted time to this fanfiction!

Oh, and please excuse the spelling and grammer mistakes that might potentially be in this next chapter. I tried proof-reading it, but it's like 11:30 pm where I am, and I just really wanted to get this up! Hey, better than nothing. xD

And remember, **REVIEWS **are wonderful! Thank you to my wonderful readers! :)

**DISCLAIMER:** No, I don't own Twilight, and I'm too tired to come up with a witty reason why I don't.

--

"Yo no speak-o Italiano." I whispered frantically to Edward, combing languages and sounding horribly pathetic. We were walking around Volterra, the cloudy day providing fortunate coverage for Edward, and I was trying to explain to a persistent street vender that I wasn't interested in his flowers.

Carlisle had gone to arrange an appointment with the Volturi. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hostile they would become once they figured out their plan had failed. In the meantime, Carlisle suggested that Edward and I stroll around the city and take advantage of the clouds. He didn't want my presence to disturb the Volturi-not yet, at least. We all had a feeling that as soon as they laid eyes on me, it definitely wasn't going to be a happy reunion.

Edward chuckled at my Spainglish and turned to the vender, speaking fluent Italian. When the vender seemed to accept the fact that we were not buying, Edward turned, grabbed my hand, and we began strolling through the park again. I froze when I realized where we were.

This was the park from my dream.

Edward noticed my tension and directed us towards a small brick wall overlooking a flower garden. The _same_ brick wall.

"What's the matter?" He asked carefully, but I could sense a hint of worry in his voice.

"Oh...it's nothing." I assured him, and really, there wasn't anything to be worried about. It was just a strange coincidence. "It's just…well, I dreamt about this place last night." I explained.

"Hmm," He mused, remembering how I had screamed in terror. He knew it was a nightmare. He began to lightly stroke my hair. It made me shiver, despite the mild temperature.

"You know, Bella," He began, his tone casual. "You've kind of…grown on me, in a sense." He smiled crookedly, and it made my heart melt. I was sure my face was beat red by now.

"But you…you still don't remember?" I asked warily.

He shook his head a regretful no. I could see the pain in his eyes.

"It wouldn't be hard to…to try and love you again." He confessed, but he still seemed upset. "It's only…I want to remember us. What we had. It would be…artificial, in a way."

I nodded my head in agreement, a wave of sadness washing over me. A dreading sense of realization if what we came here today for would not work.

"Bella," He paused to hold my gaze, my heart threatening to jump out of my chest. "I swear to protect you. I am going to try as hard as I possibly can. But if worst comes to worst and everything goes horribly wrong…" He let out a low sigh. "I want you to know how much I truly do love you. Just because I don't have my memories, I…I don't want you to think I didn't…care."

I could see the sorrow in his eyes. I could also see the truth. My heart was caught in my throat. He looked so beautiful sitting there on the wall beside me, his perfect hair blowing slightly in the breeze. I wondered if this would be one of my last memories, if in fact worst did come to worst. I figured it would be a pretty good one, sitting on wall with my one and only love, my heart aching in my chest.

He bent down and delicately plucked a flower from underneath the wall, a beautiful pink carnation. I watched as he played with it, admired its beauty. His eyes looked up to me.

"I know you said earlier that you didn't want any flowers." He paused to judge my reaction, but my crazy heartbeat was rendering me helpless to words. "But may I?" He asked, and the question was obviously rhetorical. He gently brushed a strand of loose hair behind my ear, and with it he placed the small flower. He let his fingertips brush along the side of my face, his eyes seemingly soaking in my every detail.

"Bella." He said, his voice soft.

"What?"

"No, not your name. Bella means 'beautiful' in Italian." He explained, a small smile on his face.

"Oh." I managed to breathe, and I could feel the color seeping onto my face.

I leaned in, his hand guiding my face to his, his eyes searing me. "Can I?" I managed to squeak, my obnoxiously loud heart beat making it hard to concentrate.

His answer was simple. He leaned in and kissed me.

It was like our last kiss, only the spark seemed to have grown into a full blown fire. I let his lips gently move with mine. I wound my arms around his neck, and I could feel him tense a little, obviously not used to such close contact with a human, but he shrugged it off anyway.

His lips were sweet as they continued to move with mine in a way that was so familiar it seemed that none of this could have ever happened. It was total bliss. He lifted his hand to my face, grazing my cheek and then holding my chin, tilting my face at a better angle. I let out a small sigh when he broke the kiss to let his lips touch the corners of my mouth, and then return to give me short, soft kisses. I was still breathing heavy as he let his lips rest centimeters away from mine, our noses still touching.

"Thank you." I breathed, my lips moving his when I spoke.

He nodded his head once, as if to agree with everything.

Suddenly Carlisle came running into the park, and we broke apart quickly, the flower falling out of my hair.

"Edward! Good. I've arranged a meeting for this afternoon." He said as he walked closer, leaning against the brick wall.

I gulped silently, my nerves forcefully kicking the butterflies that had just been fluttering out of my stomach. "Do they know I'll be there?" I asked, my voice small. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we stood up.

Carlisle's mouth formed a hard line and he shook his head yes. "I'll be quite honest, they are not particularly happy. But as Alice had predicted, they _are_ willing to meet with us. So we are off to a good start."

Edward nodded his head with Carlisle like this was a good thing, but I was beginning to feel light headed.

-

Our footsteps echoed loudly as I walked down the hallway that lead to the Volturi's chamber for the second time in my life. I wondered silently if this would be the last. Edward was holding my hand and squeezed it gently as we pushed open the doors into the chamber, the granite smell of the ancient hall enveloping me.

Jane sat perched up on a chair in front of us, her round face stunning as she locked eyes with me. I wondered for a second where her brother Alec might be, but then she spoke.

"Bella Swan." She cooed, and it wasn't a question so much as it was a statement.

I swallowed hard. I could see the cold in her eyes, no matter what her voice might portray. "Hello." I spoke the word slowly, as if that would save me.

She eyed me suspiciously, and what happened next frightened me. Her face turned into pure hate as she rose out of her chair and came stomping towards us.

"You should be dead." She said vehemently, her angelic face twisted in disgust.

"Now, now, Jane. That's no way to treat our guests." Aro suddenly stepped out of the shadows and laid a hand on Jane's shoulder, gently pushing her back behind him. She silently strutted back to her chair, obviously fuming.

"Ah, Carlilse. Edward. What a pleasure it is to be reunited again." I could tell he was truly being polite, but I could also see he was warily darting glances in my direction.

"The pleasure is all mine, Aro." Carlisle greeted the powerful vampire, both he and Edward bowing. I gave a sheepish nod.

"Ah, and I see Bella is back." He said, finally addressing me. I couldn't tell if what he said was meant to be taken as something positive or negative. I was betting on the negative.

"Hello." I repeated for the second time. I was too nervous to think of anything else. I silently grabbed the wolf-charm on my wrist and pressed it into my palm.

There was an awkward silence, and then Carlisle spoke. "Well. Let's just get right down to business then." He said, his voice professional and commanding. "I think you know why we are here."

I heard Jane snort in the background and was positive she was rolling her eyes. "This is ridiculous, Aro." She muttered.

Aro gestured us forward and lead us to sit at three chairs facing opposite three others behind a large marble table. I guessed the two other seats were for Marcus and Caius, who obviously weren't present.

"As you can see, Aro," Carlisle began once we were all settled. "Bella has not lost her memory. However, the entire town of Forks has. Including my son." He gestured towards Edward.

"I see, I see…" Aro mused, his hand on his chin. "You know, Bella, I always thought you were a little odd. Something about that brain of yours. Very peculiar."

I saw Jane roll her eyes sitting in her chair on the side of the table. I swallowed.

"How did she get it out of you though, Carlisle? I thought you had given me your word not to betray our deal." Aro studied Carlisle's face intently.

"Jacob Black." Carlisle answered simply. "Bella's best friend was…out of town…the night you erased everyone's memory. Bella found him, and that was when she knew that she wasn't dreaming up this nonsense." Carlisle explained, leaving out the part that Jacob was a werewolf.

"Well, well, very clever. And a huge mistake on our part. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience it might have caused you. Yes, I can see how you might have been obliged to tell her after that." Aro commended Carlisle. I was sickened by the fact that Aro didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that he had ruined everyone's lives. It only added to my nausea.

"Well, Aro, we've come here today to strike a bargain, if you're open to negotiation." Carlisle said, trying to steer us back on track. "As you can see, what you tried back in Forks did not work. And Edward is terribly upset, not to mention Bella."

I could see Aro pondering this fact, studying Edward's face with concern. I might have been wrong, but I thought I could sense some pity in his eyes, also.

"Name your terms, then." Aro finally spoke after a long silence, and I saw Jane's little mouth pop open in a surprised "O."

"Aro! Are you insane?" She screeched. "She should be dead! Enough of this negotiation nonsense." She waved her hands in front of her face, as if to swat away an imaginary fly.

"Silence, Jane." Aro commanded without even looking at her, and she silently obeyed.

This time it was Edward who spoke for once. "Bring back everyone's memory that you have tampered with." He said sternly.

I could see Aro thinking about what Edward had said. "I will have to consult with Marcus and Caius…they should be back any minute now."

"They'll be here shortly." Edward said, using his talent to pick up their thoughts, which couldn't be far away.

"Thank you." Aro said curtly, most of his politeness gone. That scared me.

"And your terms?" Carlisle pressed onward.

Aro leaned back in his chair just as Marcus and Caius walked into the room behind Aro's chair.

"Ah, good. You've come at exactly the right time." Aro addressed his two companions, as they shot me a surprised glance. "Come with me, we have much to discuss." He said as he rose from his chair, Jane following.

"Excuse us while I explain everything that has gone on here today. Then I will be back with our terms." Aro nodded at each of us with a suddenly polite smile, and then they all exited the room.

As soon as they were gone, I whispered frantically to Edward. "Well, Alice sure would have been a big help now!" I said, my nerves making my teeth clatter together like brass cymbals.

He gave me a weak smile. "It will all work out."

Carlisle reached over and patted my hand. "Don't fret, Bella. Everything is under control." He promised me.

After that there was intolerable silence. Edward traced circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, and it brought me back to the night we were planning our wedding. The night that everything went wrong. I groaned inwardly.

I thought again of Jacob, and I felt like I was going to cry. What if that was my last memory of him? Unlike the memory of Edward, this one was not so perfect. The longing for him made my entire body ache intensely. I missed him fiercely, and decided that no matter what, I was getting out of this meeting alive so I could see him one last time.

It seemed like hours had passed before the Volturi clan reappeared and sat down at the table. Their faces were so impenetrable…to me at least. Edward tensed up next to me. "No…" he whispered, and it almost sounded like a growl.

Jane gave him a look that could have silenced a flock of seagulls. Edward's mouth turned into a taught line as he waited for the Volturi to speak. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"We have come to a majority decision, three to one," Marcus glanced quickly at Jane before he continued. "What our terms are."

"We agree to change back everyone's memory, including yours, Edward." Marcus said, and I breathed a small sigh of relief. That wasn't what was bothering Edward though, and it bothered me even more not knowing.

"But we all also agreed that Bella is far beyond unique, and a talent like hers should not be wasted. We were naïve not to take this into account before." Caius chimed in, a small smile playing on his face.

I sucked in my breath. I was rooted to my seat.

"Your terms, then?' Carlisle asked, keeping a level and strong voice.

"Bella would be an excellent addition to the Volturi clan in Italy with us." Aro smiled at me like he had just announced I had won the lottery.

"Bella Swan will be changed into a vampire immediately."


	17. Sacrifices and Rewards

Holyyy crowww. -swipes sweat off forehead-  
I give you chapter 17!  
Puhhhhleeeease do me a big one guys, and really savor it!  
This is IT until at least **FRIDAY.  
**And, wow! I've just realized that this story doesn't have too much more to go!  
I'm planning on maybe just a handfull more chapters-and then it will be FIN!  
-sigh- Even more reason to savor it, people! :D

I've got finals this week, so wish me luck!  
And remember, you keep **REVIEWING**, and I'll keep **WRITING!  
**Thank you for all of your support! :D

**DISCLAIMER:** I met Stephenie Meyer today, and she said I could take her place. Um. Not.

--

"_NO_!" Edward roared, slamming his fists on the arms of his chair, rising up in fury.

I was still rooted to my seat, my whole life suddenly flashing before my eyes. I know that stuff should only happen in movies, but suddenly I found myself taking for granted every missed opportunity in life. With Jacob. With Edward.

"Edward, please, calm down-" Aro began, but Edward cut him off.

"No, dammit! That's outrageous!" He yelled, his whole body in a crouched fighting position. "Whose ridiculous idea was that?!"

Marcus cleared his throat, obviously not amused with Edward's anger. He actually seemed a little bored. "Well, I was perfectly fine with just changing her into a vampire. Content, really. But Jane suggested we keep her here in Italy, and the idea just sounded too fabulous to pass up." He said, and Caius and Aro nodded in agreement. Jane sat smug in her chair across from us, a wicked smile on her face.

"You ignorant little..." Edward shot around the table and was at Jane's side in an instant. Jane stared at him, the picture of innocence, and I knew what was happening.

Edward staggered backwards a couple of steps and then doubled-over in pain. He was groaning in agony.

"Stop it!" I yelled, finally speaking up for the first time. "Leave him alone! He's just trying to protect me!" I defended him vehemently, not caring that I had probably just dissed the single most powerful vampire coven in the world. They didn't matter to me. They never would, and there was no way I would join them. I ran over to Edward and helped him up, just as Jane left the room, a smirk on her face.

"I'm going to go see what Alec is up to." She sang, skipping out of the room, her mood swing unexpected.

Carlisle glanced from me and then back to the Volturi. "There's no other way?" He asked.

"No." Aro answered solemnly. I could tell he meant business.

"Thank you then. We'll take your offer." Carlisle surrendered and stood up.

"What!? Carlilse, no! Just like that? I…I can't! I'm not ready!" I confessed, all of my worries and doubts resurfacing. I needed to see Jake again. I needed to see my father and my mother. I thought I was prepared to be a vampire, not to stay in Italy forever. It turns out I wasn't ready to do either.

"Bella, I warned you," Carlisle whispered sternly. "What the Volturi say, goes."

Suddenly Edward tensed up next to me. He looked Caius in the eyes, a sliver of hope detectable in his stare.

"I'll do it." He said, his voice suddenly solid and determined.

"We don't know how it works, Edward. The results could be…catastrophic. We haven't tested it on anything yet." Caius explained the unspoken topic.

"I don't care. I'll do it. Test _me_. Anything but keeping Bella a vampire in Italy. Anything." He said, sounding so passionate.

"Can someone please explain what is going on here?" I asked, getting suddenly irritated by not knowing what was so dangerous.

Caius gave me a long hard look, and Marcus and Aro shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

"There is…a…possible alternative, if you will. Although it could potentially end in disaster." He cautioned me, bracing me for what was about to come.

"I've been experimenting with many things, and…well, how should I put this..." He paused slightly. "There might be a way to make Edward…a human again."

-

**Edward's POV:**

Bella gasped standing next to me, her hand flying automatically to her mouth. I saw the wolf bracelet on her wrist and blinked, remembering the words Jacob Black had imprinted into my mind. "_What has he ever had to do for you Bella?" _The words gnawed at my heart. I would not be the one to let Bella die. These past couple of days I had come to see that, and I had sworn that if the opportunity had presented itself, I would take it. The opportunity was here, and I was ready.

"What do you mean, _make Edward a human?_" She breathed, her eyes wide with shock.

Caius explained his theory to her. "I've been working on a way to…well, reverse what until now, cannot be reversed." He chuckled at his own little joke, but I found nothing at all amusing about it. "You see, I've come up with a…mixture, if you will, that may be able to change a vampire back into a human being. But you see, there are complications. Major complications."

Of course there were. Complications that I was willing to risk. I was willing to risk anything.

"First of all, in order for the poison to work-and I say poison because there is no guarantee how lethal it may be-in order for it to work, the vampire taking it must believe in what they are doing. They have to have a solid reasoning behind it. No pathetic excuses about wanting to be human, or else it _will_ kill them." Caius explained.

I saw Bella nod her head in understanding. I could tell she knew that wouldn't be a problem for me. She knew how badly I wanted her-wanted this. And I did.

"But you said it's lethal…what exactly does _lethal_ mean for vampires?" Bella asked, her sharp mind picking up on the complication.

"Ah, good question." Marcus chimed in. "You see, we aren't entirely sure that _we_ have souls anymore. It has never been proven that vampires do. And as a human, you know that a body cannot live without a soul. Therefore, we have no doubt that Edward would most likely change back into a human…but the only question is: would he die immediately afterwards?"

I saw Bella suck in a breath. She finally understood the danger of the situation. She looked back at me with doubt. "Edward? Are you actually willing to do that?" She asked, her eyes wide with a range of emotions.

I nodded my head a simple yes. She turned back to the Volturi.

"And if this did work…Edward and I would be free together…as _humans?_" She asked unbelievably.

Aro raised his eyebrows. "I don't see why not. If it did work, you'd be providing us with valuable test information and unbelievable data. It would be a major breakthrough for us if the mixture is effective. We've been working on this for hundreds of years. It seems like it would be an acceptable exchange. We just did not want to put you through the risk, Edward." He nodded at Edward.

"I'm more than willing to take the risk, if that is the reward." I answered seriously. I had my doubts, which were more than a little overwhelming. "I do have one, request, however." One that had been tugging at me ever since I had realized the potential fatality of the situation.

Aro nodded his head, urging me on.

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I'd like…I'd like to have my memory back before I undergo the transformation." I requested, a little hesitation in my voice. I knew if it failed all, I needed to remember Bella before. It was crucial.

"If you're willing to agree to this, then I see no problem with that." Marcus shook his head in agreement.

"Edward, are you positive about the transformation?" Carlisle turned to me, his voice careful. He knew what he would be dealing with if I died. It would be hard for him beyond reason.

I nodded my head. "Carlisle, it's something I need to do."

"I understand." He said, and rested a hand on my shoulder.

Bella walked up behind me and grabbed my hand. "Why?" She asked, and her question was so simple yet so complicated.

"Because I love you." I answered. "You shouldn't need to be the one to suffer. This is going to work, I promise you."

She looked at me longingly, and I could see the sorrow in her eyes. "I know you have a soul, Edward."

I grimaced. I wasn't so sure, but I was going to try. For her. For our future. But one thing was first…

Aro came and stood in front of me, Marcus and Caius flanking him. They all three simultaneously raised their hands above my head. "Are you ready, Edward?" They asked, and I nodded my head yes. I was ready to remember. If this was my last request, I knew it was a good one.

I suddenly felt a wave of emotion wash over me. I was struggling to be kept upright. And then everything seemed to come at me at once.

Bella's smile, soft under my lips. Chasing her through Phoenix, hunting the sadistic killer James. Taking her to prom, her complaining the whole way there. Leaving her last fall, the breakable look on her face. Reuniting with her in Italy, being in this same room with her only a few months ago. Proposing to her, wanting to be with her for the rest of my life. Camping out with her and Jacob, saving her from Victoria. Planning our wedding. It all came over me with a force, and it made perfect sense. It was like nothing had ever gone wrong. Everything in my life was complete again. I remembered.

I found myself in the floor, my head in my hands, elbows resting on my folded legs. I could remember. I still had to face the challenge of turning human again-but that could wait for a moment. Everything could wait. Bella was first.

I got up and looked at the three vampires in front of me, no expressions on their faces. Then I turned to her, studying and soaking in her every feature as if I were dreaming and I might wake up at any second. She was beautiful-as beautiful as she had always been when I was with her.

"Edward?" She asked warily, her eyebrows scrunched up trying to find the answers in my eyes.

I looked at her and smiled. She smiled in return, her eyes lighting up at the recognition.

"Edward!" She started to exclaim, but she was only able to get out the first syllable before I swooped her up in a kiss, my mouth silencing hers with more enthusiasm than either of us could possibly vocalize. When my mouth met hers, it felt as though the last piece of a thousand piece puzzle had finally been placed. I felt whole again. Bella was here, and she was mine.

She broke the kiss and stared at me in wonder, her eyes swimming with tears of joy. I held her closer. "You remember?" She asked, her voice barely containing her excitement.

"Yes Bella, love." I grinned for her, my head swimming with the memories I never wanted stolen again. My heart was swollen with affection. Even if death was possibly minutes away, we both felt content standing there, wrapped in each other's embrace. "How could I have forgotten?" I asked with a small smile.

And then I kissed her again.


	18. A Risk Worth Taking

Guess who's done with finals?  
WideEyedMonkey is! :D  
That means so much more time for this fanfiction, which, sadly, IS ALMOST OVER!  
-moment of silence-

Anyway! I'm really excited for finishing this, and I hope you're excited for reading it! While I do have a definite ending in mind, a friend of mine, **KELLY**, suggested a somewhat humerous alternate ending, which I'm definitely going to write. I'm also considering writing some other, eh, scenes once I'm finished. ;) So stay tuned for a ton of out-takes once this story is through! :D  
Thank you guys again for **reviewing**! You make me happeh. :)

**DISCLAIMER:** I'm secretly Stephenie Meyer, and this is really how Breaking Dawn will end...in my dreams.

--

Carlisle coughed suggestively, breaking me and Edward's kiss. I could have gone on forever I was so beyond elated. Our lips parted, but our bodies stayed stuck together, his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist.

"Well, Edward, if you're ready, I just have to make a few last minute preparations to the mixture…" Caius trailed off, giving Edward once last time to change his mind.

"I'm ready, thank you." Edward said, his voice solid, and for some reason he sounded different. I knew that the Edward I knew and loved was actually back. But for how long, I did not know.

"Then we will be back shortly. Feel free to make yourself at home." He gestured, and then the three vampires stepped out of the room. I scoffed a little to myself. _Home._

Edward tightened his grip on my shoulders in a comforting way. Carlisle stepped over to us and let out a low breath.

"Edward," He started, his voice tender, looking his son in the eyes. "Never have I been so proud of you. For what you're about to do."

"Thank you, Carlisle. That means a lot to me." Edward said, his negotiating voice also gone, replaced with a nostalgic one. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be with my true love today." He squeezed my shoulders encouragingly.

I let Edward go so he could embrace with Carlisle. Carlisle patted Edward on the back, a look of true understanding on his face.

"You'll get out of this alive, Edward. I have faith in you, in your soul." Carlisle told Edward.

Edward nodded his head solemnly, and I could see he was nervous.

"Have faith, Edward. I'll leave you two alone now." He said as he winked at me, and then exited the chamber into the main hall.

Edward came back to me, and scooped me up into his arms in one swift motion. I gasped at the suddenness. He smiled my favorite crooked smile, and my heart exploded into a million confetti-sized pieces. He carried me over to a couch at the back of the chamber, and sat down, me on his lap.

"Bella, sweet, Bella." He closed his eyes and inhaled a strand of my hair. I wound my arms around his neck and nestled my head against his shoulder, inhaling his intoxicating scent.

I sighed his name. "You don't have to do this…really, I mean, if you don't feel like-" I started to say, but he cut me off by placing one finger on my lips.

"Bella, you are always aiming to please others, even if that means putting yourself last." He sighed. "I'm tired of watching you sacrifice yourself for others. Please, Bella. Let me do this."

I swallowed. Of course I didn't have any doubt that he would survive. Edward had a soul. I knew it, even if the rest of the world didn't. I guess maybe he was right. It felt different letting someone else do something for me. A new thought crossed my mind. When this all worked out, when Edward and I were human together, something else would be solved. Jacob and I could remain friends. I would not have to choose anymore. This thought lightened my heart even more.

"You're doing this…for me and Jacob, too?" I guessed, staring at the wolf-charm on my wrist.

"Yes. I had a talk with him a while ago." He said, and this surprised me somewhat. I raised my eyebrows and he chuckled. "It wasn't very civilized at first, believe me. But we eventually had a heart-to-heart. Or, rather, somewhat mind-to-mind."

"Oh." Was all I said. "What did he tell you?"

"He reminded me how much you were sacrificing yourself for me. He was truly torn up, Bella. But I could tell he wants you in his life just as much as I do now. Of course, there are boundaries, but he assured me all he wanted was his best friend back." Edward told me.

I let a silence pass as I soaked in everything he had told me. Finally, it seemed, everything might work out.

"I love you, Edward." I said, after a stretch of silence. "I trust you. Thank you." I confessed to him, as I lifted my head to stare into his golden eyes.

He responded with a kiss, so very soft and delicate against my lips. My previously exploded heart seemed to have put itself back together again only to implode once more. "You are so very welcome, my love."

He kissed me again, this time a little more intensely, and it was hard to find the thought that had been previously forming in my head. Every thought was hazy and unclear in my mind as his lips pushed against mine, molding them to fit against his. Darn it, Bella, think.

I pushed back slightly as his lips left mine and began to explore my collar bone. My gaze lingered on the shaft of sunlight pouring in through a tiny window next to us. "Um, Edward, can I ask you something?" I asked shakily, still out of breath from kissing him, cursing my uneven voice.

"Mmm." He inquired, making his way back up my neck and right under my jaw, his icy touch tingling on my skin.

"Would you mind, you know, before you turn into a human again…um, sitting under the sunlight?" I asked, my voice small. Call me selfish, but I wanted to see him sparkle one last time, as if we had come full circle.

He chuckled again as his lips suddenly pressed against my ear. "Anything, love." He whispered, and shifted our position on the couch to that of right underneath the open window.

My breath exited my mouth in a _woosh_ sound. He was absolutely stunning sitting under the light, every pore of his skin glistening like millions of tiny diamonds were embedded there. I had only had the pleasure of seeing Edward like this only once, and the memory of it did not compare to the real thing.

Edward must have noticed my ogling expression, because he laughed slightly and rolled up his sleeves, exposing his luminous forearms. He took my hand and led my finger to him, gently tracing the lines of the skin on his arm. He then brought my hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle on the back of my hand, our fingers contrasting in the sunlight, mine pale and dull twined between his, alive and sparkling.

I found it hard to regain my composure, but once I did, he was the one to speak.

"I love you, Bella Swan. I always have and I always will. You are my life. You are all my world revolves around. I love you." He said, his eyes melting my heart.

I could feel the wetness behind my eyes, and struggled not to cry, overwhelmed by sudden emotion. To keep from crying, I pressed my face against his, my lips fitting against his in a comforting way. I could feel a couple of tears spill over and onto both of our cheeks, but I didn't care. He gently brushed them away, our lips and noses still touching, both of our faces wet with my salty tears. He gently kissed me once more, his icy lips conveying so much love and passion that I might explode.

"I love you, Edward Cullen." I whispered, and slung my arms around his neck once more, my head resting against his chest. We sat there, content in each other's embrace, never wanting to let go. Edward and Bella. Vampire and human. It was bittersweet.

All too soon Marcus, Aro, and Caius re-entered the room, carrying a small flask of a colorless liquid. My heart began anxiously beating with a wild flutter. Carlilse entered also, and Edward and I got off the couch. He was still holding my shoulders with one arm, his other hand wrapped around my fingers. His head was close to mine. "Shh, my love. Everything will be alright."

As he whispered this to me, Caius began speaking. "Edward." He said, and Edward knew he had to step forward. I let his fingers linger in mine as he let go, his icy touch leaving a pleasant chill against my skin for the last time.

"Once more, thank you for complying with this. Our dearest regrets if this…doesn't work out." Aro smiled sympathetically, and I could tell he was just talking. Just doing his job.

Edward nodded his head, looking down at the floor, and I could tell he was nervous. _Be brave. _I thought for him, knowing he couldn't read my mind, but still wanting him to feel my reassurance.

Aro handed him the flask, and he took it, staring at its colorless substance. "It is not a painful three day transformation, at least." Caius said reassuringly. "You will experience some pain though, but it should only last a few minutes. If you survive." He said, grimacing. I found myself grasping for Carlisle's hand, squeezing it in anxiety. This was it.

Edward looked at me once more, his golden eyes piercing mine for the last time, and he swallowed it.

I was horrified. I wanted to close my eyes so badly, but at the same time I couldn't tear my gaze away.

He was still at first, staring at the floor, truly epitomizing a statue. And then suddenly he dropped the flask, sending it rolling across the floor.

"Aghhh." He moaned deeply, and he fell to the floor, his head in his hands. I started to run forward, but Carlisle held me back. I couldn't stand watching his pain.

"Is there anything you can do to ease the pain?" I asked hysterically at anyone who would answer as Edward began to claw at the floor, his face hidden from mine.

Marcus shook his head a regretful no. "He will just have to ride it out." He told me. My face crumpled in helplessness as I watched my love writher in pain.

Edward began to slam his fists against the marble floor, sending vibrations throughout the entire chamber, his groans becoming louder and implying more pain. His body shook with convulsions, and for one hysterical moment he looked like he was going to rip out of his clothes and turn into the incredible hulk. I quickly rid the illogical thought from my head.

He kept shaking for what seemed like hours, his pain-filled moans echoing throughout the room. I couldn't tear my eyes from him. He seemed to be reaching the climax, as his convulsions became even more violent, and my face became even more twisted with worry.

Finally, suddenly, as if a pause button was hit, Edward froze. I couldn't see his face, as it was curled under and tucked into his chest. Then he slumped to the floor. He looked unconscious.

"Edward!" I screeched as I broke free of Carlisle's grasp, running towards the limp figure on the floor. I couldn't think straight at all.

I flung myself on his unresponsive body, kneeling by his side, and laying my upper body onto his back. Tears spilled everywhere. "Edward, please, please. Please be alive Edward, please." I moaned, my body shaking with sobs, my head resting on his back. I didn't care how ridiculous I looked to anyone watching. I moaned Edward's name over and over again, as if that might arouse him. I couldn't feel a heartbeat, my ear pressed against his back.

Just as I was about to give up, to completely fold myself over in surrender lying on top of the body of my soul mate, something made me freeze. I choked on my tears, my hands still wrapped around Edward.

"…Bella."


	19. Human

Oh boy. I'm predicting...eh, about two more chapters to go.  
O.O  
All the more reason to SAAAVOR it while it lasts! And, Imma be putting up some extras when the story is done, including an alternate ending...so be sure to stick around after that!

Thank you all for the **REVIEWS!** I love you guys so much! But I've been noticing I have a ton of favorite story adds from people whom I don't recall reviewing (because, yes, I do read all of your reviews and look at your names-sometimes even visit your profiles :D). So, maybe just a teeny review if you add my story? I'd like to know all of your opinions. :)

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. Eclipse, now...that's a different story. xD Just kidding.

--

The voice was so familiar; it glued me to the floor. It sounded so familiar, yet entirely different than what I was used to.

"Edward?" I whispered hoarsely, as his limp body began to adjust itself off the floor. I couldn't breathe; he was alive. He pushed with his arms and sat up to turn around, both of us sitting cross-legged facing each other.

I sucked in a breath.

He was still ridiculously gorgeous, with beautiful bronze hair and a toned figure. His skin was still pale, but, was it just me or was I actually paler than him? I studied his eyes which weren't gold but a beautiful deep green. He smiled weakly at me, his teeth still brilliantly white, and my heart fluttered. This wasn't Edward Cullen I was staring at. This was Edward Mason, and he made my heart melt.

"Edward?" I asked again, still incredulous to the sight in front of me. He reached over and took both my hands in his, and I was truly caught off-guard. For the first time, I felt the warmth of the flow of blood that coursed through the veins under the hands I was holding.

"Yes, Bella?" He asked, and his voice actually confused me for a second. It wasn't its usual velvety-tone. He still had a beautiful voice, no doubt, it was very soft and slightly seductive, but it sounded more like a seventeen year old boy should normally sound. I liked it.

"You're alive, Edward." I said, and I squeezed his hands, the smile growing larger and larger on my face.

"I guess I am." He said as he examined his hands in mine, and smiled none other than my favorite crooked smile. He was still the same Edward on the inside. My same Edward.

I flung my arms around him, letting the tears of joy fall down my face as he combed his hands through my hair, whispering my name over and over again.

"I can't believe it." I heard Aro whisper somewhere in the background, as the three brothers began talking excitedly amongst themselves. But I really wasn't paying attention.

Edward tilted my face towards his and kissed me so eagerly I was shocked for a moment before I realized that I wasn't kissing a vampire anymore. A vampire that used to be so concerned about breaking me. I laughed a little triumphantly to myself. We were on an equal playing field now…

I let his lips move with mine in their familiar way, only now there was much more force behind them. His lips were so warm. He let his hands run through my hair, memorizing every strand of hair as if he were kissing me for the first time. Which, in a sense, he was.

"Forever, Bella." He whispered into my ear, his voice golden. "We have each other forever."

I sighed happily as we both dragged ourselves off the floor, Edward leaning slightly on me for support because he was still a little beat up from the transformation.

"Well, I'll be." Caius whistled as he examined Edward. "The boy does have a soul after all. And the heart to prove it." He nodded respectfully at Edward.

Edward nodded his head back at the three brothers as Carlisle came to put a hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Now, Edward, there are only a few things left to be discussed," Marcus said, a serious look on his face.

"You should be in perfect working order as a human. You can do anything a human can do, obviously. But you do not have any more vampire abilities, and I would highly suggest not trying to disprove that theory." Aro laughed a little, and Edward shook his head vigorously in cooperation.

"Also, now that you are a human, there are some guidelines that must be followed." Caius said. "Naturally, part of this whole arrangement was originally to keep Bella, a human, out of vampire affairs. And then, we only had the two solutions: kill her, or make her one of us. Obviously erasing her mind did us no good. But now you can be human with her, Edward. Now that she has you as a human mate, I would think it wise that you _both_ stay out of the vampire world."

I felt Edward stiffen next to me. "What about my family?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"Now, I never said you couldn't stay out of our affairs for good, especially since you have family." Caius explained. "Of course, either you or the rest of your family will have to move away from Forks, to help restrain you from our world. However, you've given us much help today in our field of research of vampire-human transformation. I think a little extra bonus would be acceptable. I think it would be alright for family visits, oh, say once every ten years?"

I could tell Edward was about to protest when Carlisle spoke up. "That sounds agreeable, Caius, thank you." Edward sighed a barely audible breath next to me, but took my hand all the same and squeezed it lovingly.

"I would say today has been…a…very productive one, wouldn't you agree?" Aro smiled widely at me-and despite everything that had happened-I couldn't help but think of the hand in mine and smile back slightly.

Maybe, just maybe, everything was going to work out.

-

I cut the engine to my groaning truck just outside of the Black's house, sitting in the driver's seat contemplating how to approach Jacob. Would he still be angry with me? I desperately hoped not.

Edward was back at his house, along with Carlisle, discussing family matters. We had decided, however, that Edward and I were going to continue living in Forks while the Cullens searched for a new home, most likely with the Denali clan. They were all too understanding, knowing that part of the reason why Edward decided to change was for me and Jacob. I decided to give them all some time alone, and in the meantime I decided to come here and talk with Jake. I had seen Charlie already, and it was as if nothing had ever been different with him, which was a definite relief. I didn't tell him anything about Edward's new appearance, however, and I figured that might come as a little bit of a shock to all of the humans around town. We'd already come up with an excuse about Edward catching a cold, and that actually seemed a little plausible to me. I also hadn't seen Mike Newton in a while, so there was some extra good news. Everything was back to normal. The only matter that had to be taken care of now was Jacob.

I finally worked up enough courage to get out of the car and walk to the front door, where Billy answered on the first knock.

"Hello, Bella." He greeted me with a warm smile. "I assume you're looking for Jake?"

I shook my head yes. "Uh, yeah. Is he around?" I asked, peeking my head around Billy's shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure he's down by the beach. He went cliff-diving earlier, you know." Billy chuckled, and I widened my eyes in alarm.

"Nothing serious, Bella." He chuckled again, reassuring me. "Just recreational. There was something bugging him these past few days. Guess he just had to get it out of his system."

I sighed, and thanked Billy, promising him that I would remind Charlie to swing by later that night to watch the big game. I told him I would and began my hike towards the beach.

I had only begun to exit the cluster of forest trees onto the beach when I spotted him on our log, his head in his hands. I sucked in a breath as I started walking slowly towards him. I had never seen him this depressed.

I kept walking until I was right behind him.

"Don't tell me you've been like the whole time I've been gone." I attempted to ask teasingly, but it came out strangled and a little weak; not at all the approach I was looking for. But it didn't seem to matter to him.

He whipped his head around, his black hair falling around his face in glistening strands. "_Bella?"_ He asked incredulously. "You're not a…a…?"

"Vampire?" I asked for him, and smiled. "Nope."

That did it for him. He hoped of the log with incredible speed, grabbing me and tackling me to the ground in a playful manner, all the while embracing me in a gigantic hug.

"Bella! I'm so sorry; I was such a jerk. Oh, Bells!" He cried, picking us up off the ground and hugging me even tighter.

I laughed, and it felt good. "Don't beat yourself up, Jake, jeez."

"No, I was so stupid. I hated myself the days after you were gone; I couldn't believe I might have never seen you again after saying that! But…you're alive now? How? What happened?" He asked, sitting back down on our log again and gesturing me to sit next to him.

"Long story." I rolled my eyes.

"I've got all day." He said, and we both smiled as we recognized the exact same phrases we used the day I had found him in Vancouver; when all of this turmoil had begun. So I told him my story.

"And, so, the blood-I uh, mean Edward, he's human now?" Jake asked, his eyes wide.

"Mhm." I told him.

"This, I have got to see." He said as he laughed to himself. "But he was…he was thinking of us when he agreed to all of that?"

"Yeah, he was." I sighed.

"Maybe I don't give that boy enough credit." Jacob blew out an exasperated breath. "He's too good. No boy can compete with that. I was stupid for trying."

I grimaced, and grabbed his hand. "Don't be too hard on yourself. If it wasn't for you, you know, I might not be here right now-human and everything. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have cared whether or not I was a vampire. I had nothing else to live for. Now I have my best friend, too."

He smiled at me, his white teeth in stunning contrast to his dark skin. "There's no loop-hole? You're human for good, right?"

"Right." I said, and he squeezed my shoulders tightly, but I could see a new question was forming on his face.

"So, when you were explaining the part about the rest of the Cullens moving away…that means no more vampires in Forks." He said, and I knew what he was saying.

"Yeah. Does that mean…you know, you'll stop changing into a wolf?" I asked hesitantly, not knowing whether or not this was a touchy subject for him.

"Probably. It takes some time, maybe a year or so, but eventually we'll stop if there's no more threat." He explained, and I could tell he was happy about it. He was ecstatic about everything; about having his best friend back. And so was I.

"So…I heard you were cliff diving earlier?" I teased, changing the subject.

"Yup." He laughed, pushing himself up off the log and extending his hand to me. "Care to join me for a second round?"

I laughed with him. "I don't know…I told Edward I'd meet him back at his house later, and-"

Jake cut me off, raising his eyebrows at my pathetic excuses, and pulled me off the log, my wolf-charm bracelt dangling against my wrist.

"C'mon Bells." He said encouragingly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder in a friendly, comforting way that made me feel warm inside. "I'll teach you how to do it _without_ trying to get killed this time."

And I couldn't argue with that, because we were both overcome by infectious laughter.


	20. Life

Oh boy. Here it is. Last chapter until the Epilouge.  
Just wanna say thanks again to all the fans of this story! I love you so so much and your reviews MAKE. MY. DAY!

This next chapter is dedicted to one of my best friends, **KATI**, (See? There's your name in bold, you lucky dog.)  
She leaves for England tomorrow so I wanted to get this up just for her. :) She's also the one who suggessted watermelons. Paha. You'll see what I mean. ;)

**DISCLAIMER:** No ownage. Grr.

--

"BELLA!" I heard Alice shriek before I could even knock on their door.

She swung open the door excitedly, scooped me up in a gigantic hug, and swung me around. The smile never left her face.

"It's good to see you, too, Alice." I managed once she put me back down.

"I can't believe everything that's happened!" She exclaimed, her eyes wide. "First we lost our memories, and then we got them back. And now Edward's human!" She shook her head in awe. "I never saw that one coming."

We both laughed as she led me into the kitchen. I stopped abruptly at the sight in front of me.

There was Edward, sitting at the kitchen table, his family member surrounding him. He was going to town on a gigantic slice of watermelon. I guess my expression gave me away, because everyone started cracking up.

"Watermelon was my favorite food." Edward spoke up, looking at me and smiling. "When I was a human."

I realized this was going to take some getting used to, although the grin never left my face. The Cullens already seemed comfortable accepting Edward as a human. I laughed with the rest of them.

"So," I started once everyone had settled down. "Have you all, um, decided about what you're going to do?" I asked warily, feeling a little guilty.

Esme came and put an arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry about a thing, Bella. You're not putting us out." The rest of the family nodded in obvious agreement.

Carlisle walked over to us. "We'll be staying with the Denali clan. There's nothing to worry about. Besides, I think we've over-done our stay in Forks, anyway. People will begin to notice."

I grimaced, realizing this was true. "But you'll come back to visit though, right?" I asked, just to be sure.

"As often as we can!" Emmett piped in, a huge grin on his face, which automatically put one on mine.

"You can't expect us to stay away from you forever." Alice said, a pouty look on her face as Jasper came to sling an arm around her.

"You're family." He chimed in, and let a small smile play around the corners of his mouth.

Everyone smiled in agreement as Edward came up next to me and looped his hand through mine. "I have something for you." He whispered in my ear, his voice as soothing as ever. As the rest of the Cullens began dispersing, Edward led me out of the kitchen and into the living room, his warm grasp extremely comforting. Just as we were about to go up the stairs, a voice stopped us.

"Edward?" It was Rosalie.

Edward and I stopped midway up the stairs to look back at her, leaning against the banister. "Yes, Rosalie?" He asked, a little bit of impatience in his voice, but I could tell he was trying not to show it. I wondered how big of something he had in mind.

"May I steal Bella away from you for a second?" She asked, her eyes darting from Edward to me, but her voice casual.

"Sure." Edward answered her, and leaned down to whisper something to me. "I'll be in the bedroom." He said and winked, walking up the stairs and leaving my heart thumping wildly in my chest.

I turned and walked back down the stairs, sitting next to Rosalie on a couch.

"So," I started nervously, always a little nervous around Rosalie no matter what. "What's on your mind?"

She looked down at the floor, and then her eyes met mine. There was a burning desire behind her eyes, and I knew something was bothering her. "I would ask Edward, only…I'm not sure he's the right person to talk to. I know I've talked about this with you before." She stopped to cross her legs, leaning in closer.

"How does it work?" She whispered, her eyes wide. "The transformation."

I was silent for a moment, privately shocked she had come to me for answers. I coughed a little nervously to myself. "It works on all vampires…I mean, you all have souls." I started, and I could tell she knew there was a catch by the way she raised her eyebrows.

"But it…it only works if you have a real, passionate, burning desire to be human." I told her gaining more confidence with each word, remembering what the Volturi had said. "You would only turn human if there was a solid reason behind it, something you absolutely needed. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to bear the pain. It wouldn't be worth it, and you would give up." I told her, watching as she soaked in every word. I knew what she was thinking.

"It wouldn't be worth it Rosalie." I told her again, my voice sympathetic.

"How do you know?" She asked, her voice a little snappy. "I'm sorry. I mean, if it's worth trying…" She sighed, and I could tell she was thinking about her past life as a human.

"No, it's not worth it, Rosalie." I said, trying to keep my voice solid. "What about your family? Where would you go if you were human again?" I asked her. "What about Emmett?"

I could see my last question had struck a chord with her, and reasoning was reverberating off of her in every direction.

"I wouldn't do it Rosalie." I told her, grabbing her hand and placing it in mine, never feeling this close to her before. "Think of all you'd be giving up, and for what little you'd be gaining."

She nodded her head solemnly. Maybe it was just me, but I still detected a hint of indecision behind her eyes. If there was, she hid it well. "Thanks, Bella." She smiled at me, and actually gave me a quick hug as we rose off of the couch.

"I'm very jealous of you and Edward, you know." She told me teasingly, a smile on her face, but I could tell there was some truth behind it.

"Eh, thanks." I said sheepishly, a grin on my face. She rubbed my shoulder and then left the room, leaving me standing there dumbfounded at the conversation that just took place.

I shrugged it off and bounded up the stairs, opening the door to Edward's room and walking in. I took in my surroundings, spying the huge couch, his bookshelf, and his C.D. collection. But no Edward.

"Boo." He said quietly from behind me, stepping from behind the open door. I must have hit the ceiling I jumped so high, a shrill scream escaping my mouth.

Edward laughed softly as he shut the door, and then turning around to place an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

"Did I scare you?" He asked, and there was a definite smile in his green eyes. I felt his heart beat warmly against my chest as he leaned in to plant a small kiss on my lips.

"Um…" I forgot what I was going to say. Even though this wasn't vampire Edward, he still had that dazzling effect on me. I didn't have much time to think either, as he pulled me over to his massive couch.

"What did Rose want?" He asked as I cuddled up next to him. It felt more comfortable that way as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Um. Nothing much." I said, lying horribly through my teeth.

Even though he wasn't a vampire, he could still easily pick up my horrible lies. He laughed. "Mhm. Well, I'll figure it out eventually. It's a sort of curse and a blessing not being able to read everyone's mind. It was too much pressure." He told me, massaging the back of my hand with his thumb.

"So," I said absentmindedly, looking at the back of my hand. "How does it feel being human?" I asked. "Again."

He sighed. "It feels extraordinary. Almost like a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders-because I can finally be with you." He flashed his beautiful crooked grin. "Although, it's quite a difficult transition. Not being as strong, or as fast as I used to. Not being able to _dazzle _you like I used to."

I stopped him short, holding up my hand. "You think that's the worst of your problems? You don't have to worry about that, believe me." I told him, guiding his hand and placing it on my wildly beating heart. He chuckled, his eyes sparkling.

"It definitely has its perks, too. The food for one." He said and we both laughed. "Also," He said, pausing and staring down into my eyes. "Being with you. My heart beats so frantically whenever you're near me. I regret ever teasing you about your fluttering heart." He mused, his hand still on my heart. "I never knew how uncontrollable it was."

With that he guided my hand towards his chest, resting upon his heart. I gasped as I felt the blood pumping through his heart at a rapid pace, this new sensation tingling my hand.

"I wonder…" I mused quietly to myself, an idea forming in my head. I tilted my head up and pressed my lips to his, my hand still on his heart. It began pacing wildly, matching the beat of my own.

He pushed my lips more forcefully, his hands combing through my hair. I had never been this _un-_careful with Edward before. And I liked it.

I let his mouth caress mine with a passionate force, like a dam had been built up inside of him all this time, and it was finally breaking open. He gently pushed me down on the couch, hovering only an inch above me, the heat surprisingly radiating off of him in waves. He kissed the corners of my mouth, and then moved to plant kisses along my neck and my collar bone. We were both breathing heavily as he made his way back up my neck and locked his mouth with mine again, his lips enveloping my mouth. I let out a small whimper as he broke our kiss and pressed his lips under my jaw.

"Please, Edward." I breathed erratically, not thinking at all. Just feeling.

"Please what?" He whispered, pressing his mouth against mine before I could answer.

"Can we-I mean…can we-" I broke free of his kiss only to be kissed again, his lips warm and soft against mine, moving them with such eagerness I was sure he got the message.

He broke our connection, breathing heavily, a smile on his face and a messy strand of hair covering one of his eyes. "Do you mean, are we physically able to?" He asked, his smile growing bigger as he dipped down once more to cover my mouth with his, his lips mimicking mine in their kiss.

"Oh, I have no doubt that we can." His lips moved mine when he spoke, his breathing erratic, his eyes gleaming.

"Then what's stopping us?" I whined, as I lifted my head up to meet his, planting a powerful and forceful kiss on his lips. My head was swimming with a mess of thoughts and I couldn't think straight. I could only feel what I wanted. And what I wanted was him.

He returned my kiss with equal passion, stroking my hair behind my head as I wound my arms around his back and pushed him down on me, his weight comfortably bareable. I felt like I couldn't breathe, yet at the same time all my ears were attuned to were the ragged sounds of our panting, each trying to find air.

He slowed down, letting his lips push mine more slowly, and with his decrease in tempo he gently rolled off of me and laid down beside me, his couch just big enough to fit the two of us.

"Silly Bella." He sighed, kissing my forehead. "Silly, beautiful Bella."

I jutted my lower lip out, attempting to pout but failing miserably as my eyes met his with a gleaming desire.

"Why not?" I asked him, probably sounding like a whiny five year-old who was denied a cookie.

He sighed again, stroking my hair, tucking it behind my ear. "You're not the only one with a soul, now."

I moaned. Again with the virtues. "You know, we're going to need that bed eventually." I pointed out, and he laughed.

"I suppose now that I'm human I can't sleep on a couch forever." He sighed. "Sleep. How interesting that must feel after one hundred and eight years."

I laughed softly. "It'll feel good." I promised him.

"How do you like this house?" He asked suddenly, as if this thought had just crossed his mind, his eyes sparkling.

"Um, I really like it, I guess." I told him, and it was the truth. This house held many good memories for me.

"That's good." He smiled. "We'll be living here."

My mouth popped open with an audible pop. "Are you sure?" I asked hastily. "Won't your family be upset, I mean-it's so big and-" He silenced me by leaning over and pressing his lips to mine.

"You heard them, Bella. They love you. They love us. It's their gift to us." He chuckled at my sour expression, remembering how much I didn't like receiving gifts. I sighed and accepted it anyway, fighting what I knew was a losing battle.

"You said you had something for me though; was it the house…?" I asked, suddenly remembering his promise.

"That I do, and the house was only a part of it." He said as he hoped off the couch, not in his usual vampire agility but still very gracefully. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, my legs folded. What more than a house could he possibly have for me?

He grabbed something off of his bookshelf and came back to sit down next to me. "Carlilse got this back while we were still in Volterra." He said, still not revealing the contents hidden in his hand. "They took it when they erased our memories. I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet." He mused at the puzzled look on my face.

"Bella Swan." He began, pulling me off the couch so we were standing face to face. "Will you still marry me?" He asked, as he revealed the ring in his palm.

I gasped. I had totally forgotten that it had gone missing this entire time. I looked down at it, and then at him.

"What kind of a silly question is that?" I asked him with a growing smile on my face as he slid the ring onto my finger. "I will always be yours forever, Edward Cullen. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing ever did."

He smiled at me as he kissed me gently on the lips. He looked at me with his beautiful green eyes, so much hope and promise in them I could have melted on the spot.

He pulled me close to him, so that our heart beats matched, pounding in a perfect rhythm, and he hugged me. His lips were right by my ear.

"I will love you forever, Bella Swan. Until death do we part."

--

_(WideEyedMonkey here: Be sure to stay tuned for the Epilouge! :D)_


	21. Epilogue: Definitely Not a Dream

Le Epilogue. ;)  
I may eventually do some out-takes. (Bella and Edward's wedding, anyone?)  
But here it is. The end. In all of its finished glory. -tear-  
Thanks to everyone who read, and I hope you'll be there when I come out with some new stories that are already in the works! ENJOY!

**DISCLAIMER:** I've discovered it's fun writing witty disclaimers. Twilight belongs to Mrs. Meyer.

--

Epilouge:

_It's been four years. Bella and Edward are married, still living happily in Forks, and have a three year-old daughter. Bella is 22 years old; Edward and Jacob are both 21. Like Jacob had said, he's slowly beginning to stop turning into a werewolf. Since the rest of the Cullen family will visit every ten years, Jacob's discovered that he can age, and his ability to turn into a wolf just decreases as time goes on. _

"Daaddyy!" Emma's small sticky hands reached up to tug on Edward's shirt sleeve. "Will you come push me on the swing nowww?"

We were lounging in the back yard, Edward and I rocking comfortably side by side in a hammock while Emma played with her shovel and pale by the brook. She had never been one for dolls. I smiled at myself. Emma was pretty out-going for a toddler. Thank goodness she hadn't inherited my clumsiness.

"I'll be there in a minute, Emma." Edward promised her, tousling her shoulder-length coffee colored hair. "I'm talking with mommy now."

Her bright green eyes sparkled with excitement. "Okay daddy!" She kissed his cheek as she ran off to finish building her sand-slash-mud castle by the brook, eagerly awaiting her father to come and push her on the tire swing we had set up. She was going to be a very beautiful girl when she grew up.

I sighed happily as Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"You know, I don't think Alice can take the wait much longer." Edward said, turning his eyes to me. "The pictures just aren't good enough for her. She's dying to get down here and squeeze Emma into a massive hug. I wouldn't be surprised if she found a way to sneak down here."

I laughed at the trueness of the statement. "And she'll be ready to dress Emma up like a doll when she comes." I sighed. "I do miss them though."

"Mmm." Edward mused a little nostalgically. "So do I."

He picked up my hand and laced his fingers through mine.

"Did you ever imagine it would be like this?" I asked him absent-mindedly, knowing he would understand my question with certainty.

"Never in a million years, my sweet Bella." He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the tips of each finger. "But it has been better than anything I could have _ever_ imagined."

With that he turned his head and kissed me, a wave of dizziness crashing over me. I would never get used to his kiss. It was like a novelty. He pushed his lips tenderly against mine, sending sparks throughout my body. Somewhere in my clouded thoughts I wondered if our marriage would ever lose the physical aspect of our romance. As his fingers began to trace my forearm, up and down, sending me shivers, I realized that my last thought was a very, _very_ stupid question.

He was still kissing me, his lips warm and soft underneath mine, our breathing becoming very ragged, when Emma shrieked.

"PUPPY!" She squealed excitedly, and Edward and I broke our kiss, our eyes opening and looking over to Emma.

She was running as fast as her little legs could take her to greet the gigantic reddish-brown wolf that had emerged from the woods, a pair of jeans strapped onto its back leg. Jacob. I couldn't help the growing smile on my face.

"Ah! I love you, puppy!" She squealed with joy as she flung herself onto the wolf, her little arms wrapping only halfway around his massive and fuzzy neck.

Jacob barked happily as he licked her face. "Eww!" She giggled, her eyes still sparkling, not at all afraid of the monstrous wolf in front of her. She bent down to splash her face in the brook, and Jacob took the opportunity to do a quick change in the woods, re-appearing in his half-naked glory.

"Huh?" Emma asked sadly once she had wiped the water from her face. "Where'd puppy go?"

Jacob laughed as he scooped her up in a hug. "Puppy had to go home." He said, his voice deepened with maturity but still carrying a light tone. Emma had no idea that Jacob and the wolf was the same person. We were trying to keep the whole mythical world away from her for now.

"Aren't you excited to see _me_ though, Emma?" Jacob asked with big enthusiasm as he set her down.

"Oh…yeah!" She said, as if it had just hit her that Jacob was standing in front of her. "I love you, too, Jacob!" She squealed happily as she hugged his leg and then ran back to Edward and me, Jacob following her.

"C'mon daddy! Swing me now, please!" She begged him, her lips pouty. Edward laughed and got off the hammock, bending down to kiss my forehead. "I'll let you two talk." He whispered, no hint of jealousy in his voice at all as he ran off to keep up with Emma who was tugging his fingers. We were all beyond jealousy.

"Hey, Jacob." Edward nodded his head politely at Jacob, and Jake smiled back.

"Hey, Edward." He greeted him. So they weren't best friends. But they never were. At least they were genuinely polite with each other.

Jacob stood in front of me, a huge smile on his face. "Mind if I sit with you?" He asked.

"You might break it." I teased, scooting over and letting him plop down next to me.

"Ha ha." He mocked, the grin still on his face. "Very funny."

I laughed as he settled in, letting a comfortable silence settle between us.

"So, what's up, Jake?" I asked, both of us staring at the cloud-filled sky.

"I just wanted to come and talk to you, you know." He said, very blasé. "I never really actually thanked you after what happened a few years ago."

I scrunched up my eyebrows. "Thank me for what?" I asked, letting the hammock continue to swing us back and forth.

"Not turning." He said simply.

I grabbed his hand and held it in my own. "I should be the one thanking you, you know. You're the one that convinced me. The both of us, really."

I could sense his smile without even turning my head to look at him. It tugged up at the corners of my mouth also.

"Well then you're welcome." He laughed whole-heartedly, and it made my heart swell with joy. I had Edward, and I had Jacob. Everything had worked out fine in the end.

"So," I asked, after we had been quite for a while, listening to Emma's giggles from across the yard.

"Emma Cullen, don't you dare jump off that branch!" I could hear Edward's voice from across the yard and I closed my eyes and smiled, laughing on the inside.

"So," I asked again, this time a little bit of the laughter had crept into my voice. "How are you and Chelsea doing?"

I could feel him tense up. "I…I sort of, broke up with her."

That made my head whip around to look him in the eyes. "You broke up with her? Why?" I asked, totally shocked that he had already broken up with his new girlfriend. It had only been a month. "I thought you were doing great…?"

"Oh, yeah we were fine…" He trailed off, playing absent-mindedly with my hand.

"Then what's the problem?" I asked, sensing he was very uncomfortable, and that made me upset.

He let out a low sigh, his voice deep and husky. He looked away from me, and then back directly into my eyes. "What is it, Jake?" I asked softly, my voice very low and concerned.

I could sense he was burning to confess something to me, something that had been weighing on him for a long while.

"Bella…" He started, his voice low and very slow. "I've imprinted on Emma."

My heart skipped a beat. "What?"

He delivered his last sentence again, low and sure. "I've imprinted on your daughter."

My eyes must have bulged out of my head. I had so many questions. "But…but, but I thought you were aging out of your wolf form?" I sputtered.

He shook his head yes. "I am. Or at least I was. The moment you introduced me to her, I knew I had imprinted on her. I've known it these last three years."

My mouth popped open into a little "O." I couldn't believe it. "So, what does that mean?" I asked, and the question seemed entirely stupid yet fully appropriate.

"It means…I'm going to stay 21…for a while. Just to wait for her. Which means I'm also going to stay a wolf for a while, too." He swallowed. "I've made up my mind."

I was almost fighting back tears. "We'll still be friends though, right?" I asked pathetically, not even bothering to calculate our age difference by the time he started aging again-knowing it would be ridiculously big. He had chosen Emma over me. He could keep aging normally with me if he wanted-staying my friend. But he had made up his mind and his heart. For Emma.

"What kind of a stupid question is that, Bella? I've just told you that I've imprinted on your daughter and you ask if _we'll_ still be friends? Of course!" He said, wiping away a silly tear that had fallen down my cheek.

I sighed heavily. I wanted to stay friends with Jacob forever. Of course I would. Our relationship was too strong.

"Oh, Jake." I sighed, pushing some of his messy black hair out of his eyes. He smiled a small smile.

He would be there with her as she grew up. Be her play-mate, her best friend, her lover. He would make her feel better if she scraped her knee, cheer her up if she had a bad day at school. He would give her advice on all her problems, whether they be homework or boyfriend trouble. He would be there for her when she realized she loved him, and he would love her right back. Emma would never have it so good.

"So it's all right with you?" He asked, as if reading my thoughts.

"What can I do to stop it?" I asked rhetorically. "_Why_ would I want to stop it?" I laughed to myself. "Emma is going to have the most generous, good-looking, and loving soul mate out there."

He had a lop-sided smile. "You forgot intelligent."

"Eh, I did that on purpose." I laughed as he smacked my arm.

Emma came bounding up to us. "Jake! Jake! Jake!" She squealed happily, grabbing his strong arms. "You gotta come see this! There's a big giant _worm_ over there! It's so scary- I bet it eats people it's so big!"

Jake laughed as he stretched and stood up off the hammock. "So she's more afraid of big giant _worms_ than big giant _wolves_. I see how it is." He laughed again and let Emma take him to the side of the brook.

Edward sat back down again, rocking the hammock as he did.

"So what did Jake want to talk about?"

I smiled privately to myself, deciding to wait to tell Edward for a while. I wanted to savor this perfect day.

"Oh, nothing important." I said as he leaned over to kiss me.

"Emma seems to be quite fond of Jacob." Edward mused, breaking the kiss and tilting his head back to watch her splash Jacob with a tiny handful of water.

I tried hard to conceal my all-knowing grin. "Yeah, they're perfect together."

He turned to look at me with a confused face, and I let out a small laugh, grabbing the back of his head and pulling it towards mine, covering his mouth in a kiss.

"Please tell me this is not a dream." I sighed, pulling back so my mouth was just touching his, never wanting to wake up from this life. Never wanting to wake up to a city full of people who couldn't remember me. Never wanting to wake up to an Edward who didn't remember me.

"You're definitely not dreaming, my sweet Bella." He promised, and I let his lips reassure me. And he was right. This was far better than any dream.

--

_(WideEyedMonkey: I'm definitely thinking a sequel is in order. I can't just leave Jacob and his new imprintee hanging! Leave your comments, suggestions, and reviews!)_


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